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Moved

2008-09-20T02:08:00.001+10:00

I have moved to http://www.empoweredfromabove.wordpress.com

To eat or not to eat

2008-04-17T22:17:00.002+10:00

To eat or not to eat

Last week I opened the refrigerator door and remarked to myself that our place had no junk food around. The next day I went to the supermarket and bought a whole lot of chocolate biscuits, chocolate bars, ice-cream, indo mee, finger food for frying, chocolate milk. I wasn't ashamed, everyone were buying similar things as well.

This week I opened the refrigerator door and stared in disgust at the lack of healthy food there was in the house. So I made my way to the supermarket to shop for health foods such as veggies, oats, fruits, muesli bars and low-fat milk. I think my shopping basket contained the healthiest range of foods among everyone else in the queue.

So there's now a choice. But I'm determined to stay away from the junk. It's time to play temptation.

Man I think I've been watching "The Biggest Loser" way more than I expected. At least it has had a positive effect on me. Like the bread they advertise. My sister can testify to that.

What it really means to give it all up

2008-04-13T00:36:00.002+10:00

What it really means to give it all up

People can really be quite stubborn sometimes. They say they let go yet they still want to hang on to the same thing. We keep justifying to keep ourselves looking alright. When you come to terms with the fact that you need to throw off what has been holding you back, then physically, your body and your actions have to follow suit with what has been established in the mind.

For one to make an unbiased decision, it involves distancing yourself from the scene to get in touch with what you really want and what you feel the Heavenly Father is leading you to. A jury cannot make an impartial decision in court if he spends more time listening and socialising with one party, neither can a referee officiate a game fairly when he has many personal friends on one team.

You also don't tell a person when the pendulum has swung in his favour if you have not yet pondered enough about the final decision that he has been waiting to hear from you. Imagine if you ask your parents to buy something expensive for you. It is really costly. You choose to respect their decision irregardless of whether they eventually agree to buy it for you. Why would a reasonable parent who hasn't thought much about your request, announce to you that he suddenly has extra cash to spend, but isn't sure what to use it for?

1) Your parent has given you a false sense of hope. It might upset you even more if he decides he doesn't want to get it for you.

2) By saying something like that the parent subconsciously puts pressure on himself to carry through with what he said, it has slightly influence his decision.

What you say you want to do, you have to make sure you carry through. In the mind we tell ourselves one thing, but in the flesh we don't follow suit. Our mind and our body contradict ourselves. But because the body feels good we start compromising on what we have established in the mind. I realize that's how easily we can sin. We somehow only think of sin as doing something that is unrighteous in the eyes of God. Yet it extents to a lot more. Sin is defiance. Sin is doing something MY WAY rather than God's WAY. Sin is being selfish, self obsessed and self reliant. How God's word fits into my life rather than how my life fits into God's word and bigger plan.

So can you please tell me. How can say you leave it to God and still want to control and make the future happen for yourself? How can you keep hanging around the same person so often and say you want to seek God before you make that important decision? How can you say you want to let go of something so you can be free when all you are thinking of is to run into the next thing that comes your way.

When we let go, we bear the risk of uncertainty, of not knowing where we are headed next. Let God strip you of all dependancy on men and objects until all you can rely on is Him. It was never meant to be comfortable, but that's only how we can learn.

Significance

2008-04-06T02:07:00.003+11:00

Significance

I have treasured every moment of time spent with you. The question has been on my mind the past couple of weeks. "How do I move from success to significance?" I'm not contented with being contented. Honestly, I would love to be remembered and appreciated. But let's not get ahead of myself. That is not the focus here. Yet I want to do something even more that counts for Him. I don't want to miss it. Please don't let me miss it.

Resurrecting old friendships. Showing love to people I find it oh so hard to love. Doing something with the risk of not ever being appreciated. Someone once told me that faith is spelt r-i-s-k. You know what? I think it's the same for love. Not so much the kind of love that couples have for one another. It's the type where you just have to sow and get down and dirty for someone but they just brush you off as a joke or perhaps they don't take you seriously. What begins on the inside of you always works its way on the outside. Your actions naturally reflect your thoughts. It is not so much doing any more but being.

Let me continue to enjoy the richness of a student life. Finding that ever changing balance point in my life.

The exciting adventure ahead

2008-03-29T22:56:00.003+11:00

The exciting adventure ahead

It was for freedom that Christ has set us free, no longer to be subject to the yoke of slavery. And we're rejoicing, in God's victory. Our hearts, responding to his love.

I feel like Joseph the dreamer. I've had glimpses of what he is about to do. Wow! I'm not finished. God isn't finish. I'm just starting out. I feel it unfolding day by day. Opportunities open up. Numerous people affirm what the Creator has impressed upon my heart.

Honour God and He will honour you. Have I done the right thing God? I just wanted to be obedient. I felt so convicted to lay it down at your feet. You are the only thing I have to hold on to right now. And that means everything to me. I still struggle sometimes Lord, but if you are teaching and refining me, don't hold back with what you plan to do with me. I've come this far and there's no turning back now.

Still you are a faithful God. I know your plans are always to lead me from strength to strength. "Is that really going to be me God?" I'm so flattered because even I can't see myself in that light yet. I will choose to be faithful and trust even though I'm still puzzled about the outcome and as to where all these leads.

Uncertainty is my friend. Because I know my life isn't a random twist of fate and destiny but it will work out according to His plan. He makes all things beautiful in His time.

The Richness of Easter

2008-03-26T02:45:00.002+11:00

The Richness of Easter

Every new day, your glory unfolds,
Filling my eyes, with your treasures untold.
The beauty of Holiness brings worship anew
My greatest Love is You.

Wave after wave of negative thoughts filled my head. It wasn't how it was supposed to be. My heart should be pumped up for camp, my posture should be one of seeking and praying for what He could do at camp, but it wasn't. I was being weighted down by distraction and inadequacy. I had to fight and reaffirm myself as His child and not believe the lies of the enemy. Yet I knew in my spirit that this meant something, God was on the verge of something big and breaking out His glory in camp, using me as His instrument.

It was and it still is a privilege to be your humble servant. To be able to see that God is real when people can't help but acknowledge that perhaps there is this king of glory who wants to be your personal friend and saviour. To be able to guide people in saying the sinner's prayer or even making them reflect on why there are bunch of us out there in camp who realize there is something worth holding on to. Now it is about being able to approach things with a mindset that seeks to not just convert, but also disciple. This was when it birth in my heart a burden for discipling especially the 1 or 2 God placed in my heart.

We are called to sow the seeds. Though the sowers are not acknowledged most of the time because it seems like the reapers take the credit. It is time to resurrect old friendships, be more strategic in my thinking and be sensitive to when he wants to move. The comments from people, the feedback I get, once in a while I'm tempted to let that feed my ego. Strange how we still dare to think that way sometimes when we know that apart from God we could have done nothing. This easter camp was the best I've ever been to.

Post Leaders Retreat Thoughts

2008-03-16T22:36:00.003+11:00

Post Leaders Retreat Thoughts

This post should date 9th March 2008. However I didnt have internet access then. I'll still put it up anyway just to be honest with how I felt.

I feel hungry but not really like eating. I feel tired but not really like sleeping. Sometimes it’s kind of ironic how you know you need something yet you stubbornly refuse to do the very thing to satisfy the need.

I have always believed that prayer is the remedy to a heart that is uncertain of where circumstances lead to, or the status quo of a journey whose path is foggy and unclear. No, it doesn’t always give you the answers and hence we try to challenge this belief once in a while. But I have come to realized that there is a distinct difference between letting God determine your steps and doing something then asking God to bless your actions according to “His will”.

We always talk about faith. Why is this an element that seems so hard to grasp at times? Yet God made it such an integral part of our relationship with Him, declaring that if you don’t have that level of faith he seeks, you become immobile because he can’t work through you and it is impossible to please Him. But I feel like cheating sometimes. I feel like doing the more obvious tangible stuff to get to what He has promised because waiting never seems to get us anywhere right? I try to justify that God will stop us anyway if it’s not in His plan.

It seems like you can have all that head knowledge about faith. But it all counts for nothing when you are placed in a situation that requires it. I feel stretched in this respect, maybe I’m learning to increase that faith threshold. They say you are supposed to enjoy the process of learning because the end result pales in comparison to what you go through to reach that destination. How on earth can you enjoy uncertainty and watching times you feel are opportunities to act, pass by in front of you? I don’t know. But I will hold on to Barack Obama’s tagline: “change I can believe in”.

All but one

2008-03-03T00:16:00.003+11:00

All but One

I'm excited:
-about the semester ahead
-for the new relationships that will be formed
-about leading the cell with another 2 assistants
-about exploring the possibilities with my new church
-about living long term in a new comfortable melbourne home
-about going to an Australian wedding
-about the many tennis and basketball games I can play
-about experimenting further with my cooking
-about the cool climate I can enjoy most of the year
-about the opportunities that come by to add to my personal development

I'm not excited:
-about having to study again

What next?

2008-02-28T23:20:00.002+11:00

What next?

I realize I don't know what to expect anymore. A new place to stay, new people to work with and more news of what goes on behind the scenes. I'm more polished than I was 2 years ago (I hope), but still in need of refinement. Refinement from the right source.

I placed a big warning sign in front of me; a promise not to lead the group completely based on experience this year. I thank God for the opportunities to allow me to be desperate and in need of His grace and guidance. I see the huge potential in me and everyone else but only if we recognise who the real boss is and live like we are constantly aware of His presence.

Nobody can make an irrational decision with much prayer. I really admire men with great faith.

"Because your love is greater than life, my lips will glorify you" Psalms 63:4
In the word of God I can find so much inspiration and comfort for present circumstances.

Uni starts on Mon. One last chance as a student.

When being free isn't so good anymore

2008-02-14T03:23:00.002+11:00

When being free isn't so good anymore

There used to be a time when we loved the holidays. It freed us from the cycle of school and work. Somehow I can't recall what I did when I was younger and it was the end of year vacation. But I sure know that I couldnt get enough of it, it was always too short.

Now there's that constant pressure to make sure you aren't wasting away being productive if that's what you call it. I miss the times when I could just have days where I did nothing and didnt get blamed or feel guilty about it.

Today 8 people sat down together for the first time in 2 years. It feels as if everyone has moved on. When there's no reason, apart from past friendship, to meet up again it seems much more difficult to relate. Each one has a separate path they want to take, the way they want to advance themselves, what they believe matters more. There isnt a unifying factor anymore. Sounds a bit sad in a way.

I'm in a really reflective mood right now...

Happy CNY

2008-02-09T19:30:00.000+11:00

Happy CNY

The days pass so quickly. I found myself staring at the EY computer screen for the last time on wednesday. I dug up the photos and videos Lean and I took at RESB, the waste management plant I audited and laughed to myself. Only 2 of them were left, the rest of the interns had finished their time and I missed a number of them. Working at EY in KL wasn't just working experience for a soon to graduate college guy, it was also a period of immersion into what the Malaysian culture was really like. The longer I stayed in Malaysia, the more I justified my Malaysian citizenship and the more I appreciated great managers and fellow colleagues who made my 2 months stay there a very pleasant one.

Yet it's time to appreciate the people in front of you once more. Your immediate and extended family. I owe so much to them. Love nowadays is about making one's self happy, but I always believe family love is about making the other person happy. Happy CNY. The last time to indulge before I discipline myself to get fit again and shape up for that 15km run again in cool Melbourne.

Update

2008-01-23T23:30:00.000+11:00

Update

Alright.. because this wireless area where i'm surfing is swarming with mozzies, i shall be quick.

I'm at my client's place everyday having to rush the audit program with the rest of my team. Access to internet is zero and if you think you know the definition of smelly and disgusting, I've gone one level up from the rest of you in this respect. But I've had great laughs and my learning curve has been rather steep, so I guess that's great. I've learnt to put aside the negatives and gives thanks for what I already have.

Meanwhile, here's to Malaysia, for granting so many public holidays and having so many things to be proud about as Malaysians..haha.. from Mr Health Minister to Lingam to Sharlinie's case.

Oh and did I tell you I love the Malaysian radio channels.. they are so funny!

Here's to a great year ahead

2008-01-08T12:43:00.000+11:00

Here's to a great year ahead

I am convinced that despite the inconveniences, I am being prepared and molded into someone I wouldn’t recognize maybe a few years down the road. It is hard to walk through a season of perseverance and patience when each step of the way, your mental and spiritual proportions are being challenged. Challenged to take what you have up one notch after being dealt with uncertainty and uncomfortable circumstances. Beneath the temptation of complaining and venting frustrations also comes the opportunity to give thanks to the creator for his provisions to date. “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” I want his yoke.

Here’s a brief glance at blog worthy moments over the past few days.

E&Y: I did a bit of programming type work for the technology and risk department. Essentially IT audits. Only skimmed the surface though, due to the festive season and everyone taking their end of year leave. Still I managed to meet a couple of friendly people, socializing over ‘extended’ lunch breaks and msn in the office. Ha. Meeting clients wasn’t exactly as exciting as I thought, quite the contrary actually, struggling to keep awake while listening to them babble in their not so eloquent command of the English language and receiving business cards of professionals I probably won’t have any use for, for now. I’m starting this new assignment with a different client and doing the reading up on them now before I go in tomorrow. Waste management firm. I won’t bet against myself coming out smelling like garbage in nice looking business attire. An irony.

‘Training’ at MacRitchie: The love of the sport of kayaking. I was supposed to meet up with Nad and Chong for breakfast and possibly a light gym session after that. Funny how we ended up at the reservoir carrying that sleek k2 boat, struggling to row continuously and me blindly following Nad’s shouts for a ‘hard 10’ and ‘last bursts’ near the finishing line. I have to admit it was really fun to row again after nearly 2 years absence from the sport. But in didn’t end there. I was ‘forced’ to run that 4.8km route with 2 officers. I’m going to be wary of these 2 next time, though reluctantly I appreciate the exercise =p

That trip to Singapore was worth it, even if I didn’t have the chance to go for the second mini-cell outing. I just wished I could have more time with kf, bearing in mind I only see him once a year.

In case you are wondering, I typed out this post over the course of the day, so I haven’t compromised on work ok?

The law of success

2007-12-28T18:47:00.000+11:00

The law of success

Success comes only to men of action. Society tells us that there is this thing known as 'luck'. We hear it being mentioned at the gaming tables or while betting on major sporting events and races. Obvious to us, the probabilities are played out such that the bookies or the casinos gain in the long run. But we still want a taste of what it feels like to be lucky, to win big. Why do people choose to buy the lottery week after week even after many barren years?

One of the dangers of our generation is that we are always looking for short-cuts to be successful. The generation above us will tell us they got up there through sheer hard work. Yet they aren't completely accurate in this respect because the rules have changed. Working blindly will not get you anywhere now. It may have been but not now. The quality of our investments is what counts. Both in terms of time and money. Then again with the growing interest in the stock market nowadays, there are still many traces of people wanting to make quick capital gains. How those professional investors tie up their funds in stocks for years, I don't know. But they certainly do know how to be patient and know what assets to invest in. This is because they do their homework, they don't base their judgement on feeling, which way the markets go, they do the background research on companies before they make fully informed and qualified decisions. It implies an effort on their part. They take action.

Yet many also neglect the other important investment decision they have to make. Time. How much time on what. We have coined another term for this, known as work-life balance. By far, family, friends and other loved ones should have first priority, not this selfish little friend called work. We invest time in something by taking action in it. We invest time in family by making the effort to have dinners together, holidays. We invest time in exercise by taking action to go to the gym or finding people to play sports with.

The idea of putting our effort into our job to earn is enough evidence that when we take action, we solicit something in return. When we merely hope for good fortune like at the gaming tables, nothing good ever comes out of it. Very rarely. This thing called luck thus does not exist in my vocabulary. It implies a very passive approach to things. Furthermore, I trully believe God will bless you if He wants to.

All I want for Christmas is you

2007-12-26T18:51:00.000+11:00

All I want for Christmas is you

Its been a while since I got involved in a church scale kind of event over the christmas season. Family holidays, working, coming back late from Melbourne have eaten into preparation events for that one christmas day every year. Can I just say once again how thankful to God for that 'christmas present' from Him.

I woke up to the reality of next year. Final year of studies, eventually stepping into another new environment of work whether in Melbourne or elsewhere, I really don't know. How the following year unfolds will show me the path laid in front of me. I am only willing to step where I have full confidence of God's provision. I got up today feeling genuinely concerned, but the other side of me told myself not to be silly..if God be for me, who can be against me right?

I've got a few interesting days to look forward to. Now its that planning stage again. For next year, my new goals and aims as always.

So good to see you

2007-12-24T16:01:00.000+11:00

So Good to see you

"What is man that You are mindful of him?"

"Who am I that You are mindful of me?"

Sometimes I look at how God responds and I just laugh. Not a laugh of mockery but a laugh upon realization of the awesomeness and generousity of our Father. That made my day.

Malay Language for the Malaysian

2007-12-21T14:23:00.000+11:00

Malay Language for the Malaysian

I stepped into the Ernst & Young office in KL feeling a mixture of uncertainty and anticipation to learn something new. Well its been alright so far I guess. I enjoy the company of the other interns who in some way have helped me come out of the initial boredom unscathed. Circumstances had made it such that I have different buddies for each part of the day. 1 to go home with, 2-3 of them to have lunch with and even at the client's office, the absence of internet doesn't seem so bad when I have someone to chat with, though we probably fail at multi-tasking in this manner. haha.

Not forgetting that I have to plead with clients to speak english because I don't know bahasa at all and Malaysians really should be learning to speak english at the office if they ever want to globalize and progress as a country. I'm not really doing the 'financy' stuff I wanted, in fact I'm doing the IT audit. Whoa..trully not my cup of tea. Requires my drawing a lot on business process analysis knowledge as well as a some accounting. But nevertheless I thank God for helping me adjust well. I know those times when I talked to Him, I always felt his assurance, even before everything started.

Of course, I have been equally blessed to have friends like chris who really made last weekend a blast. Thank you for allowing me to stay over and opening up your church friendship circle to me. To top it off having the chance to have many great laughs at Glorie's 21st, especially with HT around and on the backdrop of super sunday, 2 great soccer matches. With the result obviously in Man utd's favour.

Yes. It's gonna be christmas again. I have a great family. And I'm already looking forward to meet kf in singapore.

A Little bit spicy?

2007-12-12T13:10:00.000+11:00

A Little Bit Spicy?

Bangkok reminded me how much I loved to be around my family. The only slight drawback was perhaps that we should have explored the outskirts of the city, nevertheless, shopping and eating were adequate things to do. However make sure you think twice before eating something which a Thai labels as "only a little bit spicy". It will literally open your eyes to the world of chilli.

Heading up to KL in a few hours time. Hope to be able to touch base with the Malaysian gang up there. I'm not too sure how everything will unfold once I start working there, in EY. But I will continue to live by faith and surrender what little I have to Him. I know I will be fine when things fall in the right hands, its only whether I can learn how to embrace the uncertainty which lies ahead of me...for now.

To my singapore buddies, if you read this. Many apologies for not being able to touch base with you yet. I will keep Feb free for you guys. And thanks Chong, I'm proud to have a friend like you.

Lover of my soul

2007-12-03T17:53:00.000+11:00

Lover of my soul

Despite such a busy period of furniture shopping, I've had a lot of thoughts race through my mind. I wish I had more time to ponder about them. I'm making an effort to try to spend time with people I don't usually do, chat with those whom I've only managed brief conversations with. To a certain extent, where you are defined by the past decisions you made. This is where it is scary sometimes. When God gives you choices, you fear choosing something which is not in line with his plans for you.

It will be a 3 month holiday of seeking God. Seeking Him not just for answers, but because it is worth it. Feeling satisfied that this direction has been approved by God. Dwelling in His presence. It is easy enough to make a morally or "christianly" right decision. But if I want to honour Him I have to choose to listen to my heavenly's father's voice and let him be my good shephard.

It is a struggle when you see people making similar decisions or courses of actions based on feeling and intellect. They arrive at what they want so much faster. And you start thinking whether you should do the same. It is tempting. I want it to be spirit-led. I want God to nudge me in the direction that pleases him and glorifies his name. I and living by faith right now. Hopefully always will be because I know that in the end it will be good. I will be looking back and smiling, saying to God "It was worth the wait. It was worth knowing what you thought." Because in the end, it always turns out so much better.

I love you.

Spring no more

2007-11-30T00:15:00.000+11:00

Spring no more

What can I say. For a good year we stayed at spring street towers. HE spending most of his time on that sunken in sofa, KY spending most of his time in the room on his bed. We enjoyed the huge living room space, the cooking together in first semester. Then we had the occasional friends coming over. My first home cell was held there. Here's to great memories at our appartment.

A long summer ahead. Plenty of things planned out ahead.

Humble yourself and pray

2007-11-25T01:00:00.000+11:00

Humble yourself and pray

Sometimes perhaps we get ahead of ourselves and thoughts start creeping in that you are so valuable. I guess it is one thing to have great expectancy in what you can do for Christ, but I know there are times I almost forget where my position, my authority and my power stems from.

And He has His way of dealing with it. "Ben, you can't play God" You can't think that you are always the one who must be there for everyone that matters to you when they struggle or breakdown, to the point that you see your input as the only thing that is worthwhile for them. Maybe personality-wise and based on your morals, you have the proper counselling terms, words and things to say but when you forget fundamentally who you are in Christ and that you have access to so much more wisdom yet you don't utilise it, you realize you were dumb.

Humility. I'm humble enough to admit I still need more of it.

Golden Compass or Black Compass?

2007-11-20T00:01:00.000+11:00

Golden Compass or Black Compass?

I get emails now and again telling me that the upcoming movie the golden compass is based on a book series written by atheist to go against C.S Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia and that the sole objective of the books are to bash any belief in a God whatsoever, more prominently christians.
http://snopes.com/politics/religion/compass.asp
http://www.citizenlink.org/content/A000005672.cfm
It disappoints me to see how people still don't want to try 'taste and see that the Lord is good' before they pass sweeping statements that God does not exist. The pride of men has greatly clouded their view of the incredible God.

Building Up or Tearing Down

2007-11-13T02:11:00.000+11:00

Building Up or Tearing Down

Something struck a chord in my heart today. It is so important to be slow to speak and quick to listen.

In the average home, for every positive statement, a child received 10 negative statements

In school, for every positive statement, a student receives 7 negative statements from the teacher

It takes 4 positive statements to negate the effect of 1 positive statement

You might have heard this somewhere before yet we still live in a very negative society. Reality check. I tried to control what I said today and found it difficult. Even when you mean something as a joke, like it or not, what you say has an effect on people.

Do you want to be part of a construction or destruction crew? Encouragement is a very powerful tool, even more so as a leader. And make sure you mean it.

God thank you for teaching me.

Of Maggots and Robbers

2007-11-10T23:12:00.000+11:00

I hate Maggots

The first is how I wake up one day and find Hao Ern hitting the floor with sheets of paper. "Flies?" I ask him. "No maggots, 2 just crawled around where I was sitting." We try to follow the trail of where they come from and we discover, to our horror, many more crawling around the kitchen floor. For the next half an hour, we are squishing nasty little maggots with pieces of tissue without any attempt to hide out disgust. I lift up the trash bag where we dispose of those tissues filled with squashed maggots and discover yet another happy bunch of maggots crawling around. It probably was the rotten food in the trash that hadn't been taken out.

I hate maggots.

Honesty the best policy

2007-11-07T00:32:00.000+11:00

Honesty the best policy

If there's one aspect of my character I need to work on, it's that I can learn how to have more integrity and honesty in what I do. It's not that I ain't honest, but as long as you are not consistent in doing something you know you should, it is a struggle you have to watch out for. Compromise that little bit more and it will start to own you.

I always try to find ways not to pay money if I can help it. I booked the indoor basketball court in uni for 2 hrs today and paid before-hand. We ended up playing for 3hrs and when I returned the key for the court I kept quiet to see if the guy at the counter would say anything. Turns out he didn't realize so I wanted to rush off. Yet I felt a tug in my heart to own up, "erm...actually we played for one extra hour, so do I have to pay for that too?" The guy looked at me and paused for a second, I think he appreciated my honesty, "Nah.. its fine, I won't charge you guys then."

Maybe sometimes honesty will disadvantage us. It is not always the case you get a great deal out of being truthful. On the contrary dishonesty may work to our advantage at times. But I still choose honesty, it is part of my principles and it is a form of honouring God.

A few Random things

2007-11-05T00:30:00.000+11:00

A few Random things

- man utd should have won, arsenal got lucky so I don't understand why arsenal fans should be so happy when they nearly lost on their home ground, the advantage is still man utd's

- Yen and I have been having great laughs, at the expense of Shuks

- The irony is that it was Svot vac(study hol) this week yet I rekindled my friendship with one, strengthened another 2 and got to know heaps of people better simply by studying together in the library and meeting different people for meals

- I have unexpectedly developed a heightened interest for nba, i used to only bother about nba during the playoff season, now i actually follow individual player performance

- I've actually managed to wake up really early and sleep considerably late during this period, not sure how I managed it

- My first paper is in the morning tomorrow but my housemate, who doesnt have a paper till next week is already in bed..before me while I'm awake..blogging..

Replacing her

2007-10-27T21:13:00.000+10:00

Replacing her

(When I stepped into Jeremy's car)
"Ben are you wearing black shoes?"
"Huh? Do you have to wear black shoes to go to a baptism?"
"Just answer my question.."
"No, dark blue"

I lift one foot to show him my shoe colour.
"Argh!! it's black!"
"No its dark blue! WHY!?"
He looks at my shirt, then his shirt, my pants and then his pants.
"Oh crap we are wearing the EXACT same colour combination!"

Men the things I go through with Jem all the time. Both wearing a white polo-tee and grey pants to the baptism, wrestling him in front 30 other ocf leaders at the leader's retreat at the start of the year because he smeared a slice of his birthday cake on my face, getting caught lying side-by-side on the grass of the south lawn in uni(we were merely chatting and enjoying the sun) by several people who claimed we were being dodgy..zzz.

That aside, its been a blessing working with Frances, and being great friends as well. Don't under-estimate the advantages of having a good partner in cell, who is teachable and always respects my decisions, yet willing to be honest with me and telling me when she thinks I haven't done something I should be doing. I do need that.

Today she took the plunge. Now she's one of us, having taken that step to get baptized before she also leaves Melbourne, probably for good as well. I have to get used to it by now. People come and people go. So never complain why you couldn't stay in one place longer or hadn't come early enough. What matters is what you do with the time given to you.

I stand by my opinion that no one in this world is irreplaceable but no two people can ever give you the same shared experiences. I still treasure the 'small talk' that we have about each individual in our cell, it goes on for hours on the phone sometimes. Of course we still respect the privacy of each person if a member tells us something in confidence.

The prospect of working with those 2 people next year sounds exciting. It won't be the same as her anymore but certainly, I trust it will be equally as good, if not better.

Also blogged at http://empoweredfromabove.wordpress.com

God's grace on my life

2007-10-23T00:45:00.000+10:00

God's grace on my life

I read my archives on my blog today just to unwind after a whole day of study at Jem's nice, quiet suburbian house. I really want to invest in a house and stay in the suburbs next time. I already have a dream house in mind.

As of today I have close to 2 years worth of blog posts, each one containing a special memory. Most importantly, this blog has detailed my whole time in Melbourne.

I read the entry where I had serious doubts about ocf and felt prompted by God to serve but didnt know where to start or what to do or where I should serve. I read the entry where I fell sick the whole week during the easter break last year and I felt so lonely and uncomfortable because I stayed in my hostel room the whole time, feeling too weak to come out. I read the entry about the times chris, nigel, mel and I would hang out watching the world cup at chris's place and we 'fought' over the sofa space. I read about that life changing experience I had at Hillsong conference 06, which for the first time in my life, led to me taking God more seriously.

All the emotions, the uncertainties, the good and the bad, all captured in this blog. I see the way I used to write my entries and I can even point out what an egoistic guy I was. I think God has been teaching me humility all this while and I'm still learning. But I see the difference in overall character from the Ben of the past. I'm so amazed but even more grateful. I learnt more about myself today.

They say going overseas changes people. It certainly did change me.

Baptism Sunday

2007-10-22T00:42:00.000+10:00

Baptism Sunday

Quite a number of times in life, you will have to make decisions which are difficult. Two girls who are both important to me, getting baptized on the same day, in the same church during the same service. The problem comes after the service, which set of friends do you join for dinner. Up till then I could juggle talking to Ai Ling and Kelly, giving them their respective gifts and talking to different groups of friends. The feeling sucks when you seem to have to abandon one in favour of the other. I wish I could be in 2 places at once. I rushed off to find the other after dinner with Kelly and our cell but I was too late. It made me feel bad. You can't do both all the time.

Something about the baptism service made me feel so touched and delighted to see both girls take that step of faith. More than I expected.

I also hope a seed was placed in his heart. I have to keep believing for his salvation, he is slowly changing but life is way better with this God...

How did they do it?

2007-10-20T21:58:00.000+10:00

How did they do it?

I turned to read the sports section of the The Australian and was astonished to read that England takes on South Africa in the Rugby World Cup Final tonight. Now, I'm not a crazy fan of rugby, but I like it enough to keep myself updated occasionally and I'm also not too lost to realize that England being in the Rugby World Cup Final is sheer madness. The mighty All Blacks, the Wallabies and France all in disbelief as to how they're out but England can't understand how they are in.

"The sheer senselessness of sport is a phenomenon that sometimes leads to incomprehensible victories, sometimes to equally incomprehensible defeats." Sport does that to you sometimes, not often, not always but it does happen. Just think about Greece in Euro 2004. Were they the best European Footballing nation? I doubt. They were so so lucky. But at the end of the day, they won. Enough said.

If anything England and Greece's remarkable feats should give the rest of us dreamers hope. I always thought I wasn't cut out for basketball. It just wasn't my thing despite my height and built. Yet if you don't try you won't even stand a chance. If you keep shying away from something because so many others are better, you might as well not do anything. All you need is confidence/belief and a maybe a little encouragement and tip from someone who has experience. Today I probably had one of the better games of basketball since I started playing the game.

Don't you think we can draw a parallel with how we are in life sometimes? Let us keep dreaming, even when the odds are stacked against us. Sometimes God gives us that window of opportunity when he brings you someone you can learn from and you had better not miss the chance to get better. Because you never know..one day you may look back and think, how did I do it?

Tutorial

2007-10-18T00:50:00.000+10:00

Tutorial

I stepped into my cost management tutorial today, still trying to catch my breath from the brisk walking. Before I even had the chance to sit down, the tutor asked me:

"So did you do your work this week?"
"Erm yea.."
"You're Benjamin right?"

Firstly, she remembers that I was the only guy who was upfront with her when I told her straight in her face that I didn't do my tute work, without trying to hide anything. Maybe it's unusual to admit something like that.

Secondly, how does she know my name? Am I so notoriously famous now? Haha.

Thirdly why ask me in front of the whole class? Fortunately I did the work this time.

To be honest, studying in the law library has been fun, because Shuk In never fails to make me laugh with her antics, Pearly is always trying to find something to disturb me about and T looks so funny when scrambling to do her assignments and work.

All glory be to God for guiding me thus far. Teach me, mold me Lord. There are so many more things He has yet to fulfill in my life. I trully believe.

The right part

2007-10-13T21:24:00.000+10:00

The right part

I realised more than ever today that the key to playing sports well and effectively is utilising the right body part to play to your game. The interesting thing is that, many times, massive arm strength doesn't present you with a huge advantage, it is the overall physique that determines what your strengths and weaknesses become.

In canoeing, it is the combination of your shoulder thrust and upper body twist that drives the kayak, arm strength is just a bonus, used for final bursts of speed because it rarely lasts. I beat a guy 3 years older than me and twice my arm size while I was competing in the open category for SJI.

In tennis, one of my favourite games, brute strength will send the ball sky high and way out of the court. Proper feet movement and twisting your body while following through with the entire arm as opposed to using a lot of fore-arm strength gives you the opportunity to make that killer smash shot.

Even in basketball as JLee was showing me today, strength is generated from the legs up through the body and to the hands as you release the ball.

This week alone, I have already swam 1.4km and played Bball for 3hrs. A lot more from my usual routine where I'll hit the gym just once for 1.5hrs. The best part I guess, is getting to do it with friends. It's so odd that I start exercising more now just as it gets closer to 5 november, my first exam paper.

Also blogged at www.empoweredfromabove.wordpress.com

Where to?

2007-10-12T03:18:00.000+10:00

Where to?

Sometimes I really wonder whether I'm on the right track, when you think God is opening doors for something but it seems to slam right shut when you get to the door. Back to square one again.

Now I haven't any idea what I should do?
It's just a real challenge and I know I will, God-willing be thankful for this one should it even take place. But I don't want it to drag on because it will affect other things. On the flip side maybe I shouldn't be too impatient?

I will try not to think too much, however eventually I need to know what to do next. Perhaps it has been too much trying to do on my part and not letting God take control more than He should. I know my heart. I know why I'm responding like that. I just don't understand where this is leading to, God works in mysterious ways sometimes.

Yet Faith in God is better than an Answer. I will trust, though blindly, in His provision. Just could you give me a clearer picture God? It's starting to bother me now..

Exhausted

2007-10-10T02:25:00.000+10:00

Exhausted

I'm so so tired and I'm nodding off every few minutes but I have to complete this piece of work or that tutor will give me that look again when I tell her I didn't complete my work. Too many questions and I really don't want to compromise on my revision plan anymore. This semester's subjects aren't really my cup of tea but I know, God willing, that He will pull me through with more than enough.

My whole body still smells of chlorine from that exhausting swim I had with Amanda and my housemates. Men... I must go on, I just must, God give me strength. Please. I learnt something new from God today and really want to blog about in my other blog but now's not the time. Hope I don't forget it by tomorrow.

Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere.

May our paths cross again..

2007-10-07T21:24:00.000+10:00

May our paths cross again..

He cried. It was the last time he would see his house of 3 years, at least for a long while. The clock showed 3.30am. We stood in the balcony and chatted for an hour. Even guys have their emotional moments too, but only when some place or certain people mean heaps to them.

Reach out, build up and send back. Ocf's mission. I had the privilege to be with him through all 3 stages.

Reach Out: July Camp 2006
I stood by him, unsure what to say or do but just stretching out my hand to pray for him. Colin and Jon Lee led him through the sinner's prayer. He cried and we rejoiced. I wrote him a note but I spelt his name wrongly. I was still a christian learning what it meant to be serious about God under my boss, Nigel. Well great..I thought. We were in the same cell but never talked much or had much to do with one another.

Build Up: Feb 07 - Oct 07
He was put in my cell. But initially he hardly wanted to come. He told me to call him out for dinner some time. I did it out of duty. Duty as a leader. Yet God transformed this call of duty into a solid friendship. It never looked back. We had meals together, exchanged business books, watching/playing soccer, poker, tennis, supported me in my business company, introduced new food, told me about discounts and taught me many things I never knew. I could count on him, I could trust him and he helped me out a lot in organizing cell outings, giving his honest opinion on how the cell could improve and how I could improve without ever making me feel bad. I enjoyed this year partly because I had a hang out friend, a two-way friendship. There is a difference between my cell member and my great friend. He was the latter to me. He shared his struggles with me and I pleaded with God at times just to bless him because it didn't seem just to me that a warm and generous friend like him should ever face so many set backs in life.

Send Back: 7 October 07
I was so busy this week but I desperately wanted him to have a good closure to his Melbourne journey, by surrounding him with friends that mattered. For the past few days, money, sleep, time and soccer were less important to me than spending time with a friend that mattered. In the car on the way to the airport, he told me he would wear his sunglasses so no one would see if he cried. I told him I had seen him cry twice already. Before he stepped into the departure hall, he cried. And while typing this post, I teared. Of course I will see him whenever back in Singapore, but it will always be different not having him around in Melbourne anymore.

As I sit here, I flip the page to another chapter. A chapter without Itono, a great friend and brother but in full confidence that God has prepared a unique journey for each of us and that somehow someday our paths will cross again.

Stay Lighted

2007-10-03T17:52:00.000+10:00

Stay Lighted

The world is a harsh place. Sometimes all you want to do is to cry. Go ahead and let it all out, don't try to keep it to yourself.

When I hear friends around me not doing too well, I try to be that outlet for them. Over this week alone I have had people break down, vent their frustration, air their confusion and seek my advice all in front of me. It feels like I am a punching bag all of a sudden. I'm not complaining because I know this is what loving people is all about and I will do my best to help them and offer what I can using what God gives me.

Isaiah 60 "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the LORD rises upon you and his glory appears over you.

Yes I always was reminded through this verse to be a light on campus. Yet there's one aspect of this worse I didnt look at. "Thick darkness is over the people" Unsaved people are important, but we cannot neglect people who are in the light but whose light are flickering because a storm blows at them and maybe opposing forces are trying to put out this light. Stand next to these people and make the fire bigger, encourage and pray for them. Combining all the small lights together makes one big powerful lights, of which people who need help will know where to run to.

A New Season

2007-09-29T18:26:00.000+10:00

A New Season

It's really been a week of people's birthdays. Among them worth mentioning are Hao Ern and Ai Ling. I find it interesting how your birthdays fall within days of one another so you guys can celebrate them together, how sweet. God bless both of you wonderful people.

It's all about treasuring the times right now. Harry possibly leaving for exchange, Itono back to Singapore and my YAA Company friends, the last I might see a few of them. Not forgetting people moving on from ocf after semester ends. It will be different yes, but there's only one constant.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Phil 3:12-14

Hold on to God. This was what I was reminded off on the same day before A-Night itself while I prayed. It was affirmed by Luc and Graeme.

Listen..

God is trying to say something.

Where I'm always at on Tuesday nights

2007-09-26T11:38:00.000+10:00

Where I'm always at on Tuesday nights

First of all, Happy Bdae to Matthias in Singapore. I'm not sure whether you still read this space anymore because of my irregular postings but I always remember the mischievious things we did with our KAP gang, some maybe which weren't so nice..haha. Hope to catch up at the end of the year.

Tuesday nights will start becoming free again for me. I will feel a bit strange not having to make my way to Accenture and having discussions and a few laughs with them in those beautiful conference rooms. I've never ever seen such a driven bunch of like-minded students, always on the look out how to get jobs at big companies by building connections with the relevant people, taking subjects in uni that really help in furthering their business knowledge.

I always see the disappointment on their faces whenever I deliver the financial report that we have yet to break-even on our investment. Then Diana, that brilliant marketing director comes up with some amazing ideas which we eventually try to brainstorm and evaluate their feasibility. Thankfully we are racking in profits of a few hundred bucks. 35% return on our investments.

It has changed my viewpoint on how a business is run. Why each of manufacturing, marketing, sales, finance and HR are so crucial to the company. I have seen the effects on the whole team when one department struggles. Everything else can get held up. One body, many parts.

Why do you guys have so many ideas? What makes you guys so creative? I need to learn not to be too rigid in my thinking. I know I have improved immensely on that since I began leadership in ocf, especially when only a brief guideline is laid down for you, the rest is to your own discretion. Perhaps the culture in Singapore is too by-the-book. Sometimes, you have to emotionally attach yourself from an idea and just think whether it is rational.

Proper record keeping is crucial because inventory, sales and cash receipt figures must all tally because it is so easy to manipulate the figures either for your own personal gain or to save your back. Ss and I took quite a while to reconcile sales with financial figures, the dates we recognised sales were different, he when sale receipts were passed to him and i when cash was received by me. When you get externally audited by the mentors, it's not fun trying to explain to them the discrepancies. Especially when more than a thousand dollars worth of company assets are entrusted into your hands.

Writing a business plan, doing the annual report for shareholders. Don't put trash inside the report. Investors only care about a few things: returns on their investments, what use their investments have been put too. No need to be too extensive or cost will outweigh the benefits of putting the information together. The next time you read a company's end of term report, remember, hundreds of hours have been put into it by various people.

Is there a market for your product? So what if you have a great looking product, can it sell? Can you create that need to have one? The culture of having one? Is it worth placing your product in stores? Depends if they want to take it on a consignment basis or buy it off you. Consignment basis and you have to consider whether store owners will have as much incentive to sell something which does not belong to them. How much are you willing to give them for each unit sold? You want more profit for yourself you have to raise the price but would people buy them? Are stores holding up inventory by selling too slowly when individual sales prove much more effective?

There is no perfect strategy in business but you can keep trying to refine them until you get the most out of your assets while ensuring that you maintain a steady cashflow. Many intangibles, just wished I had invested a bit more time into it. Building a company is one thing, but building lives is another. Sometimes I just wished I could have done more of being a light to people in the company.

But for the time I explained to her why I believed there was only one loving God when she thought that it didnt matter which God you believed in or whether you believed there was one or not. She saw my nick on msn giving praise to God. Or even for the time where I explained to 4 people on separate occasions what ocf was about and why I believed it was worthwhile spending so much time there, I just give thanks to God for hopefully being able to sow a little seed into their heart.

Running that Race together - Cell Retreat 07

2007-09-24T10:21:00.000+10:00

Running that Race together - Cell Retreat 07

Amusing quotes:
"Because of the drought" Steph (in response to why tram ticket prices have increased)

"I have come to the conclusion that this cell is either very brave or very clean" Chen Yi (after coming out from the shower which had no hot water..she was reluctant to do so at first)

"You have to be careful with that knife because it can cut you" Joel (trying to be concerned for Stesha while preparing food)

Top Moments
(Carina and I) Stepping into the kitchen for the first time after getting the ingredients for our next meal from safeway, a startled Carina screams at me when I'm right at the entrance of the doorway, probably thinking I was an intruder, causing a few others to scream in unison and giving me a big fright in the process.

(Itono and Amy) While playing tag on the beach, Itono, who is so keen not to get caught, dives into the freezing sea water to avoid Amy's hand and but still gets caught anyhow.

(Jon, Carina and I) Jon almost spits out the milk in his mouth after he hears me trying to convince Carina that strawberry milk comes from pink cows.

(Joel, Amy, Gayle) Joel is so keen on waking up to watch sunrise but sleeps on although the alarm wakes me up while Amy and Gayle sit awake outside waiting for Joel to get up.

(Everyone) The "emo" atmosphere during sharing, especially with the realization that 3 people are leaving us soon, causes the girls and Itono to tear and the other 3 guys struggling to keep a straight face

Over the weekend, I saw a different but positive side to everyone present. Ironically in the midst of all the group fun, I thank God for the opportunity to talk to about 3-4 people individually. I want to help them and I want to bless them. God, show me how.

Munch

2007-09-20T10:15:00.000+10:00

Munch

I really feel like a pig because I keep eating every few hours. Even at 4.30am, I'm munching on choco pillow while watching man utd beat sporting lisbon with Itono and WY. The informal nature of upcell yesterday led to us eating pizzas before breaking into our sub-committees which involved discussing a fair bit about planning for next year. And because I somehow love the fellowship with a few of the guys, 4 of us make our way to universal pizza, even though I'm supposed to be 'full', and share another plate of schnitzel and wedges. Mode of transport? Driven in a car. This imbalance of eating and exercise is worrying me and I'm gonna make sure I hit the gym later.

Seems like everytime I make another close friend, they have to leave. I'm gonna miss hanging out with Itono soon. I just know I would. Hope it will be a memorable last few days with him, starting with cell retreat tomorrow.

Mid-semester break at last!

2007-09-18T03:28:00.000+10:00

Mid-semester break at last!

Sometimes I look back at what I did in the day and become so amazed at how I managed to do so many things.

Thankfully the person at Torquay got back to me regarding the accomodation for our cell retreat. It would be great to spend the weekend at great ocean road with the cell. I spent much of my time today having to prepare the annual report to shareholders for my company because we are going to liquidate in 3 weeks time and thus numerous charts and figures detailing the financial aspects of the company had to be done up by me and my team under me.

Tonight, I almost had it all going well for me in the game of risk. Perhaps its because I can read the game very well and persuade my others to act in a way that they 'think' favours them but deflects attention away from me. That was until the power shifted into 2 peoples hands who made a ridiculous alliance because they became scared of me.

Thought quite a fair bit about what I learnt from John Bervere. You can read all about it in http://empoweredfromabove.wordpress.com/

Post Ltc retreat thoughts

2007-09-16T21:56:00.000+10:00

Post Ltc retreat thoughts

I haven't been able to reach Nigel lately. Somehow his time there in Singapore and my free time here in Melbourne just don't seem to meet. However I thank God because he used to be something like my survival kit, a great help when I was stuck with issues in cell leading, now God has so graciously taught me how to depend and rely on His wisdom, and I call Nigel now with the intention of being able to sharpen one another in the faith, to give as well as to receive.

It is quite near as the days draw closer to the end of semester and it hit me during ltc retreat, how I wouldn't be able to joke around anymore with a few of those guys like leong hui and colin and people who showed what it means to really be a brother to others. You don't see it, but the younger batch of ocfers will appreciate it. Even if I'm not appreciated next time, hopefully it wouldnt matter to me because I know what the Father above thinks of me and it is His approval I want to seek.

I see so much of myself in the current ltc batch. How I boldly tried to make sure the ltc retreat ran smoothly last year as the chairperson, how I was so excited yet slightly nervous about receiving a word of knowledge from God through Graeme's prayer and simply not knowing what to expect. One year on I praise God because He has allowed me to turn all those visions into reality and I realize the huge leap forward I have taken by the grace of God.

Now it seems and feels like God has placed another vision in my heart, but I don't know. I need to seek God further on this matter. Seriously, how can anyone not love this God?

Conversations

2007-09-05T22:45:00.000+10:00

Conversations

My postings haven't been as regular as they used to be, yet I will keep on blogging when I feel like it because it captures memories and brings back old feelings whenever I read my previous post. I stick to my motive that I blog not so much in the hope that people will read them, though they are more than welcomed to, but so I can reflect and keep a record of my student days which has by now documented so much of God's faithfulness in my life.

Facebook has taken over. It probably replaces the time I used to spend here, only one thing it lacks, being able to document your thoughts with freedom, without a notification appearing on your profile page for everything you choose to do. Sure a blog isn't that much of a private thing either, but it pretty much gives people a choice whether they want to read it or not instead of having bits of information about what you did thrown in front of them. Perhaps it feels safe knowing that people will only find this site if they bothered trying to google or search for it. So while I don't deny access to anyone who wants to read (as if I could), I also prefer not to have the whole world know what I think of this and that and this and...

I could share with you today how God touched my cell during homecell on saturday all the way at Glen Waverly, reducing a few to tears, or how I spent the last few days studying for my cost management mid-semester exam or how I got so excited after getting tickets to see the Australia vs Argentina soccer game, with the likes of Messi, Tevez, Macherano, Heinze, Zanetti, Saviola all coming to Melbourne and playing at the MCG. But today I'll tell you about my conversations with Raymond, this ABC friend of mine in the Melbourne Uni gym. It is up to your imagination to fill in our facial expressions and body posture and the accent/slang. Thought I would try something different today.

In the changing room:
R: Benny! (Pleasantly surprised look)
R: You doing gym today as well! (Moves over to shake my hand)
B: Hey Ray! haha yea..(quickly wiping my hand on my towel after putting on my shoes and then stretching it out to shake his hand)
R: Alright I'll see you inside then..
B: Yea ok, cya!

In the weights room:
R: Hey where've you been men?
B: Oh sorry men, I was upstairs doing some cardio..
B: I think I'll do some abs as well (rubs hand over stomach), feel like I'm getting fat, I mean like I know that won't get rid of the fat but hopefully with a few more runs it will look better, haha
R: I haven't done abs in ages, the last time was 3 months ago?
R: Everytime I tell myself this is the day I'm gonna start running I just don't do it.
B: Haha I know how that feels (trying my best to look sympathetic)
R: Alright I'll join you to do some abs then..

Later:
R: Hey you're done with benching already? That was fast? (disbelief in his eyes)
B: haha, yea that's because I did a slightly lighter weight today, just 60kg, because I'm gonna do the inclined and declined bench presses as well today so I didnt wanna kill myself on the flat bench press (smiling)
R: But that's the point Benny! You're supposed to kill yourself in gym, you know that! And I'm here, I'll give you a spot. (in a semi friendly and semi indignant tone)
B: haha (embarassed laugh)

On the inclined bench press:
B: I suck real bad at this.
R: Come on! I'll equal the number of reps you do in my shoulder press exercise.
B: (Lifts up the bar and starts doing 5 reps easily)
R: Wait I'll equal you up till 6 reps then
B: (I do all the way up to 12 reps)
R: Too easy! I saw you smiling as you were doing that, you've gotta increase the weights men! (in an accusing tone)
B: Haha you're going to do 12 now!
R: No! I said up till 6 (smiling)

B: Hey!! (pointing at him while he slots additional weights onto the bar)
R: No, you can do more Benny, don't quit on me, do it for Douglas, or Hao Ern..

While doing the leg press machine:
R: Ben! what are you doing?
B: working my legs, what else?
R: Your face, you're stoning!
B: Haha well erm (trying to think of some kind of excuse)
B: well the declined bench press machine is being used so I'm just waiting for them to be done (hoping my excuse will work)
R: Well don't bother, those guys are gonna take ages...(in a semi pissed off tone)
B: Why?
R: They're americans (distasteful tone)

Well interesting day at the gym with Raymond. Now its starting to ache..

Suffering for being an ocfer?

2007-08-26T15:01:00.000+10:00

Suffering for being an ocfer?

Ocf is a para-church organisation. Which means it is meant to work in tandem with the church. It does not exist to replace the church neither is it a church in itself. It is basically an extension of church, a christian lobby group on campus, who are actually strategically placed within the university working its way to bring the good news of hope to all who are in darkness. Its advantage over various church university ministries is that it already has a name and voice on campus. We are already working on the inside while the church tries to come in from the outside because it is external to the university.

Ocf continues to encourage people to go to church, people offer to bring those who are new or looking for one to their church, even to the extent of driving them there. We are not negative about what the church does, neither are we indifferent as to whether you go to church or not. We are for the church and their activities. Promotional or outreach events will always be publicized in our regular friday meetings and brought up again in the ocf weekly email updates.

Sometimes God raises up a few people to serve in this ministry rather than in church. Serving in ocf is not better than serving in church, but neither does being involved in church beat being involved in ocf itself. They are all a matter of where God calls you to be for that season of your life. Some people find their place in the church setting and may God bless them, yet numerous people who otherwise are unwilling to even step into a church stumble across ocf and find a family of people there who care and are hungry for a God who cares. Existing christians step inside and grow exponentially in their relationship with God, me included. I noticed the change in myself, my parents saw it and many of my friends back home sensed it. They equip you and build you up, teaching you aspects of leading bible study, leading prayer meetings and have a good mentoring program in place.

It is very very disheartening to see some people make negative comments about ocf, especially when those people are people from the churches, leaders and fellow students alike who choose to critisize rather than see how earnestly the people inside ocf are working to be a light on campus. They will never know what ocf is like until they actually step inside 1 or 2 meetings and see what it is like for themselves.

Those people from church argue that once people leave ocf when they graduate they will feel lost on their own when they return home. It is funny they say that because even if you develop a close bond within the church cell, you are also going to leave that cell when you return home after your studies to wherever you came from. The issue does not lie with ocf, the issue lies with whether each individual realizes and is taught how to look for spiritual food on their own. "Work out your own salvation with fear and with trembling". Ocf itself tries to incalcate that and so do a few churches. The issue about ocf not being under the cover of the church can be answered with the fact that melbourne uni ocf has 3 advisors who undertake the function of a pastoral care. They are each in their 60s, blessed with a sound knowledge of God's word and interact with the ocfers themselves. Furthermore may I emphasize again, we constantly remind people to go to church.

As a leader you have to be commited to where you serve and unfortunately sometimes that means not being able to be involved so much in church cell groups and functions. Yet we also recognize that ocf is not the only ministry used by God, so we give people our blessing when they feel it's time to move on into church. But does the church recognize the same about us? do the people? Do even your own friends? Sadly not always, it helps that we have churches believing in the ministry of ocf but not all do, not all people do, and not all friends do. Having said that I really pray for church university ministries like planet uni which is doing such a wonderful job for Christ as well.

Mum's the word

2007-08-20T13:38:00.000+10:00

Mum's the word

It looks like it has been the season for parents to come down and visit their kids in Uni. I was no exception. She just left to go back this morning, everything happened so fast. I enjoyed catching up with her, sharing prayer requests with one another and always constantly being reminded how fortunate I am.

Because she caught up with a few of her own university friends, I would be aware of how their families were, their children, their stuggles. My heart broke for some of them that day because there came the impending realization that life isn't always as straight forward as we think. Its complicated. We need some order especially when there are so many things we cannot control, we need a redeemer. It makes me scared sometimes, that's only human. But why has redemption become such a selfish concept? Why is it only about us? We were instructed to preach good news to the poor. The financially poor, the morally poor, the relationship poor, the intellectually poor and the sinner. Two things that are important. That I am a sinner but my God is a great saviour.

I had long conversations with pastor phillip and his wife, separately. I wanted to approach Tim Costello, head of World Vision Australia after his sermon at Clayton COC to tell him what a relevant message he spoke on, unfortunately he was busy talking to a few people and had to rush off after that.

Hao Ern's early 21st birthday celebration at night with 40+ people including his family all the way from Malaysia was the 3rd time I ate cake and the 5th slice I had that day. As long as he had a memoriable night I'm really happy for him especially in a family who acknowledges God for His blessings on their life.

But then I miss mom already. Really...I do.

Beautiful

2007-08-09T21:30:00.001+10:00

Beautiful

You know what would be my greatest joy at this point in time? It would be for them to see me as a good friend and not just as their cell leader. I'm not sure how many of them will realize it. I try to pour out as much of my life as I can, using what the Father has deposited each time in my heart. I treasure each time spent with each person because they are opportunities from God to build into their lives. That was what the joy of serving is all about, it almost moves me to tears everytime I see pictures of the cell so happy, so comfortably with one another or coming to realize how they want to get more serious about Him.

Perhaps God is answering my prayers. At the beginning of the semester, I told God, if there is anything about my life which He was not pleased with or any areas which I could improve, that He would teach me. It was dangerous to pray for something like that. Maybe that is why numerous issues are popping up. I need answers, sometimes I wish I had them but then you turn to God and He tells you it's not time yet, he still wants to refine me because He keeps me believing that there is something bigger. It keeps you hanging on for dear life to Him, I really can't live without Him now, I feel very lost doing stuff myself. There are so many aspects of life that I need to trust Him for and I will remain in His timing.

He makes All Things beautiful in His time.
Lord please show me everyday
as you're teaching me your way,
that I will do just what you say.
In your time.

The bet that shouldn't have been

2007-07-31T23:47:00.000+10:00

The bet that shouldn't have been

Irrational. I think that is the appropriate term to describe me when I jumped into that bet with Amy. I probably would have been able to survive without it for a week and there shouldn't be any reason to think that she couldn't do the same. What started out as a joke turned into something real. The only thing I don't want is for others to think I'm loose with my cash when my close friends actually know that the opposite is actually true for me. This even manifests in the way I play poker. A very tight player.

Do I regret it? Perhaps. However I certainly discovered a few things about some cell members along the way. Hopefully that's the bright side out of it that will help me when I deal with them in future. Anyway we all laughed it off as a joke so its all good.

There is suddenly a need for more prayer. There always was but somehow we don't always see its urgency. Teach me how to handle this situation Lord, I really need your Holy spirit to help me out on this one, I can't do it alone, and it will stretch my trust and belief in you. Humble me once again.

Guard our heart

2007-07-28T01:46:00.000+10:00

Guard your heart

I was challenged again in my heart. "Guard your heart above all else for it is the well spring of life". God already knew what I would go through and I know I really need tactfulness and wisdom to deal with it properly without crossing boundaries.

Somehow I know this semester is going to be different. Already my friends are telling me stuff which are indicative of how things will be changing. Jeremy was telling me about how maybe I should learn to like change especially as I enter a season which is really crucial because it will affect a number of things next year. There is a need to start mentoring a few people. On the business side of things, sales are picking up and soon it will be a headache trying to close up and tally the accounts for our company.

I grew closer to a number of people over the 2 weeks while I was back in Melbourne over the holidays and I really want to sustain these relationships. However I continue to look for God's discernment and guidance, this time its more of Him and less of me.

Starting again

2007-07-26T19:07:00.000+10:00

Starting again

The next time you step into the gym, spare a thought for people who may be just starting out and may not be as strong as you are. I felt like a newbie once more and sometimes it is only until you are in their shoes then you realize how your little actions and mannerism can affect the motivation of people around you. I return to the place where my ego used to be inflated but this time I ask God that I wouldn't be too radical anymore.

I realized maybe how fortunate I was to be in the YAA program where I was placed as financial director in our company. Somehow the budgeting, the preparation of balance sheets and bank reconciliation gave me the practical side of my development into a potential financier or accountant though it really gave me a big headache and its only now that I'm studying the theoratical side of it under cost management.

The illusion of success

2007-07-25T16:00:00.000+10:00

The illusion of success

Men in neat suits, elevators with a news info bar, spectacular office views overlooking the whole Melbourne area and impressive looking conference rooms. Everytime I step into the Accenture Melbourne office building, a part of you wishes that you could one day work in such a global firm. They seem important, people glance at them with a sense of respect for their high profile positions. All these give people the illusion of a rich and successful life, so university students like us come begging for internships in the hope that we could work there one day.

It's a sad reality that so often, it is image that matters more to people than what really goes on. Are we going to be a slave to money or the opinions of people? They keep working and working, for what purpose? To earn more each time to have a better quality of life and to get other people's admiration for you.

Many are getting ambitious nowadays and its a good thing. But after you have amassed that great amount of wealth then what? Are you going to try and work on spending time with your loved ones? Too late, they have moved on without you. You sacrificed your social life for riches that satisfy only material desires. There are indeed a new kind of poor in our era. The kind who lost touch of what matters most to them. When we get older we crave a different kind of success, and those are relationships. But most people would probably say that they won't, they just have to be careful, I have to be careful not to be drawn too much into corporate culture.

July Camp 2007

2007-07-24T01:23:00.000+10:00

July Camp 2007 - Building relationships with God and men

To tell you the truth, I went to camp without too many expectations. I was asked to help out as a kitchen hand so I obliged though in my heart I was laughing after realizing how far I had come since last year from being a kid who needed others to cook for him to cooking for a camp of 55 people.

Its always a challenge to make sure I don't get ahead of myself. 12 of the 55 present were my cell members, obviously the largest group among all other cells and easy to attribute the numbers to your good leadership or so you think. But when in God's kingdom has it ever been about the numbers? I rebuked myself for that. If I ever think that the cell's current state was ever my doing, then I've simply lost it and I don't deserve to be their leader anymore.

I stand in awe and appreciation of a God who has allowed the cell to gel nicely thus far. Amy's birthday celebration, the bombardment of comments and photos on facebook as well as this July camp has strengthened ties within the cell. All these, I know cannot be taken for granted because such things don't happen naturally. At the same point last year, I knew barely half the members in our previous BOB cell. The latter will always be greater than the former glory. My cell people are starting to make fun of me more and more these days, but I take it with a pinch of salt, because it is a good sign as it indicates they are generally warming up to me and one another. I think they tried to stick a loli into my mouth while I dozed off in the bus.

I managed to heave the basketball into the basket from half-court twice in the span of 8 throws, that was during our free time in camp. I suprised myself. But thats how it is with God. We actually do more than we think we can when we focus and concentrate on Him, and when the ball falls through the rim, we think "wow!", look at how far we have come. To those who know me well enough, my sharing wont be complete without telling you what I learnt from God during the camp and you should see that in my other blog soon.

That was fun!

2007-07-15T13:03:00.001+10:00

That was fun!

A whole week has just passed ahead of me, yet while I thought I would come back to Melbourne to have some R and R and personal time, the fact is that things somehow fall into place such that I have different people to occupy me everyday.

Straight away when I arrived last Thursday, I had dinner with hao ern and ai ling over at her place and we spent the whole night playing risk. The next day I spent the whole day with Itono, having lunch, tea and dinner outside and going around to shop in between, everytime we chat we really find out so much more about one another and it’s good that we share a major interest that other people our age seldom have.

Saturday morning I got a call from Jia Ying, Leon’s sister early in the morning and I could sense how lost she felt having arrived to study here for the first time. I’m glad I had the chance to bring her to buy at least a couple of basic necessities and hopefully make her feel better in the process. I was supposed to visit life expedition church with De on sunday, one of my cell members but he couldn’t make it in the last minute, so I attended that church alone hoping at least I would recognise someone I know, but I didn’t. So I introduced myself to the senior pastor and talked to him a bit. Sunday was probably the only rare day I had to myself. The icing on the cake was being able to watch the wimbledon finals at home.

Inspired by Federer’s win, Sook Yin and I decided to have a game of tennis at my place the next day. We smashed balls at one another and I hope I didn’t make her run too much around the court. That was just the afternoon. Hao ern and I travelled down to laksa king in the night with sook yin and the other college square girls. We decided to pay jia yi, amanda’s new housemate a visit which eventually sparked off a small confrontation between them, hopefully its better now.

I hated having to go back and look at financial statements all night because the board meeting for my company would be the following day and I had to make the presentation of our budget levels as finance director. Virtually the whole of Tuesday was taken by going to the bank, revising financial figures and the company meeting which almost drove me crazy having to write out a cheque to so many people. Itono and I were not able to get tickets for our Tuesday night movie so I just went and chilled out in his place with his 2 friends from Brisbane.

Hao Ern and I met Dawn for the last time on Wednesday for lunch before she flies off to the US, nice of her to give me my ‘belated’ birthday cake and hao ern who so generously wanted to treat all of us. I pray that God will sustain her in a new environment abroad. I finally got to have dinner with Frances, we hadn’t seen each other for 3 weeks and both of us were literally exploding with so many things we wanted to share with one another. It took up the whole night and I would have stayed longer but the last tram from her place was at 12 plus so I had to leave. Definitely it was a great time of seeking God together.

Judy came from perth to visit so I brought her our for lunch. Chocolates really do make a girl happy and I think she loved koko black so much. When I see people so delighted, I also get really happy. Somehow, it felt like some ice had been broken because I never had the opportunity to talk with her substantially. She was so excited about her Melbourne map which she claimed she could go ‘anywhere’ with, that was kinda funny, both her expression and her words. Haha. I showed her apartment as well and as usual I got the same reaction, “its so big and nice!” Caught Harry potter that night with Itono, not too bad, but it didn’t blow me away either.

Jeremy and I met for a heavy branch that Friday morning. It feels good that we could get so many things off our chest. Not often you can find a brother like that whom you are accountable to and vice-versa. I know we have learnt a lot from one another and glad to keep it that way. At 3, I met SS to discuss the trade expo for our company, I threw in a few ideas here and there, we need to bring it up to the whole team again. Friday night and Saturday is a whole new story in itself. Another time then.

Wimbledon

2007-07-09T02:13:00.000+10:00

Wimbledon

I'm watching the Wimbledon Men's finals now and getting really stressed. I'm rooting for Federer but Nadal is playing so well, so it such a close game. Its keeping me awake all night. Hao Ern is not back yet so I'm getting really agitated by myself. All part of the emotions exhibited when I watch sports. The adrenaline.

Its nice to be back in Melbourne. I shall elaborate another time. Back to tennis.

That 'One' Thing

2007-07-04T03:20:00.000+10:00

That 'One' Thing

I realized as I was walking the other day that many people want answers, techniques and solutions to everything they are doing, be it from work, relationships, making it in life.

You know what's the problem? It is that most people are searching for absolutes, or looking for that one factor that influences or changes everything. Why are there books that talk about trust, and then say all things boil down to trust, or books on positive thinking and they tell you your whole life will change when you look on the bright side? Or what about time management or other factors which claim to be impactful in your life?

The misconception is that there is hardly anything that is only attributable to one factor. By themselves, the traits of trust and positive thinking do make a difference in our lives but we cannot live by those characteristics alone. Nothing is absolute and I notice how many are searching for things that will give them the key to success. They want a proven method. There isnt any unfortunately, its all about the interplay of different factors and how you make them all work to your advantage.

If anything there is only one thing there is absolute, proven and constant. The 'One' thing everyone should know. Hopefully you do know Him.

Chat

2007-07-03T03:01:00.000+10:00

Chat

Perhaps it was good that I spent almost 8 hrs talking with 3 different people today. The conversations were personal yet interesting, the kind I like. All with their own good laughs.

It certainly helped take my mind off the events back there in Aussie which really got me so mad.

A tribute to someone I love

2007-07-01T20:47:00.000+10:00

A tribute to someone I love

Success is not defined by what you possess but by the decisions that you make in life. I know coming back was the right decision after all, now I see it, God had a purpose for me to fulfil to people even though I am miles away from Melbourne. I had to share today at my grandmother’s funeral because many need to know what a friend we have in Jesus. Many people need to know what real love is all about. Therefore I spoke, no God spoke.

The physical and emotional fatigue took its toll on me and I fell asleep in the afternoon. I don’t think many people know the real reason behind me breaking down in front of everyone. Probably they will guess that I miss my grandmother and it seems all the more appropriate for the occasion given it was a funeral service after all. God’s love overwhelmed me because He made me see things differently, how their lives were lacking something each of us crave - the Father’s love.

Thank you for the meals we shared together, the laughs every time I shared my experiences, the conversations in Cantonese, the red packets I received without fail each year as well as the few trips we had as a family. See you again real soon in a better place!

The kind of success I crave

2007-06-22T13:59:00.000+10:00

The kind of success I crave

At the dawn of a new day, a boy sat his wooden chair next to an elderly lady who was lying in bed. The boy just turned 20 as contrasted to his grandmother in her 80’s. One full of dreams, the other full of life experiences but both with the same realization that they were going to leave this world someday. She had taken care of him for months when he was born, now he was to accompany her by her bedside for a few days.

So often our dreams have a dollar sign stamped onto them, what I guess we need to realize is that when we grow older we will crave a different type of success – relationships. There was this business man who had 500 people attend his 60th birthday but only 50 people who attended his funeral. What use is it if you gain the whole world but you lose your own soul?

Rob Parson’s “Heart of Success”
1) Don’t settle for being cash rich - time poor
2) Believe that the job you do makes a difference
3) Play to your strengths – find factor X
4) Believe in the power of dreams
5) Put your family before your career
6) Keep the common touch
7) Don’t settle for success – make a difference, strive for significance

The Newb Mentality

2007-06-20T01:06:00.000+10:00

The Newb Mentality

Just a thought that popped into my mind today. Maybe sometimes it is better to think you are a nobody. When you think you are a somebody there is a possibility of letting it become a barrier to advancing or going forward. The 'newb' mentality, that's what I call it. If you tell yourself that you have achieved nothing yet, there still remains that desire to to strive and to put in effort.

I can do more for people and their lives. It starts now.

I'm still standing....but by the grace of God

2007-06-18T20:13:00.000+10:00

I'm still standing....but by the grace of God

There are times when I feel like the loneliest person in town but I don't complain because even in the midst of the the helplessness, I know I am still being a blessing to my grandparents. Even if it pains me to see them suffer like that, i know there is no substitution for one's physical presence. The little things count for something, singing for them, talking maybe one or two words to them and praying for them. I realize that 'Peace is not the absence of trouble, it is simply the presence of God'. My value-addedness isn't much, sometimes I wonder whether I'm just dead weight around the house but I know prayer is a powerful weapon and just because things may not be going well doesn't mean I stop being a blessing to others elsewhere, I stop interceding for the salvation of friends.

Hey, I'm gonna take whatever the evil one tries to throw at me and my family and throw it back, I'm not gonna stay in this helpless state and just receive all the words of encouragement, but I shall ride on the prayers of friends and His people to become more passionate for Him. I have been able to catch up with chris, hang out with Teoky. I believe there is something more He has intended for me to achieve by being here.

"The God of Peace will soon crush satan underneath your feet." Enough said.

A brief break

2007-06-07T22:00:00.000+10:00

A brief break

Well I guess within this period where I have 5 days till my final and potentially the most difficult paper I will try to shed some light on what has been happening. The exam period happens to be 3 weeks long, but 3 of my papers fell within 3 days including my birthday. They fell before, on and after the 6th June so I will have to say I spent 6th June waking up early to study for the afternoon paper, did my organisational paper in the afternoon and went to the library in the evening to prepare for my paper today. I guess that's enough you need to know, otherwise I'm starting to get boring here.

I try not to think too much sometimes, but I always do. You know when its your birthday, you will always create expectations about what your friends will say or do for you. Maybe sometimes even when it is your special day it shouldn't always be about you but what you will do for other people. The focus is outward looking and not inward looking. I trully didn't expect anything other than a couple of wishes from friends. It is always touching to know people out there who care, especially those you can feel are genuine and this further strengthens my belief nothing beats being honest and true to a person.

To my "buddy" (you know who you are): Thanks for everything;)

Man Utd's Trophy

2007-05-24T01:24:00.000+10:00

Regardless of whoever wins the champions league tonight. Man Utd has got our English Premier League trophy back. It belongs to us.

Btw... GO AC MILAN!!

Homecell on Sat

2007-05-20T18:38:00.000+10:00

Homecell on Sat

Frances and I told our group to take friday night off and do something they won't normally be able to do. Inside my heart I was getting desperate as saturday night came closer. I don't know why God impressed upon my heart that I had to share something with the group. The only thing was, He didn't tell me what to say. I would spend time seeking His word each day, but He didn't show me anything...yet. Frances was asking me almost everyday: "So Ben, what is the program for homecell on sat apart from the steamboat session and the bible study? Do you have any idea?"

All I could say was that I really didn't know, but I knew God wanted to move and I apportioned 1 hr for it because I was not sure whether God wanted to move into a time of ministry? Reflection? Or prayer? Or open sharing by others? I only had a little idea of what I was to say on Saturday morning itself, when I got up early to cry out to the Lord for answers. However that was only 50% of it. Still I had no idea where this would lead to. Part of me tells me that I can't stand a fair amount of ambiguity. There were new comers joining us for the first time. Should I cater down to their level, speak something evangelistic? I was scared and I was nervous inside because I risked looking like a fool in front of my cell. When God wants you to do something you have to be obedient. Are you willing to lose your face for the Lord. He kept assuring me that he will provide the word, I was merely a messenger.

I said a prayer to God to guide me while my cell members eyes turned toward me. I spoke and words flowed from my mouth, whatever came to mind I just let out. I got a few occasional nods of agreement, a few looking down on the floor or staring somewhere else and God told me to let them reflect on what had been said so I stopped and let them ponder while music flowed gently in the background from where Frances was sitting as she played on her keyboard.

You know at the end of it, even today I still feel like a fool. Because I'm not sure how everyone reacted. Perhaps it spoke to a few people, maybe just one, or maybe most, but I know it is not for me to judge. I was merely an instrument in carrying out His greater plans for that night but it was definitely God who was speaking last night. Not me.

I'll share what I said with you in my christian thoughts for those who are interested.

Where I have been to..

2007-05-14T01:43:00.000+10:00

Where I have been to..

For those of you who thought I had disappeared from the blogging scene, well you were wrong. Actually I have been blogging somewhere else. Every time I typed in a blog entry, I felt that I was not doing Him justice by not expanding on the things that he had taught me. It has probably come to a point where I can no longer isolate Him from my day because he plays a major role in my life. After all, it should be more about Him and less of me. Hence I have began a blog where I share all my revelations from God. It also helps me consolidate my thoughts. It is on my links. This blog will continue to exist. They will exist in tandem with one another.

I think I got a little glimpse of how the business world will be like. I joined this business skills program thing, not related to uni at all. It runs almost like the apprentice just that nobody gets fired. However the steps we go through are similar, having to sell shares, conduct the market research on our product, the break-even analysis, the legal issues and very soon the manufacture and sales component of our product. I was appointed the market research director for this period though I want to run for another position in the company when the formal election process kicks in. The mentors are guys from Accenture, the renowned consultancy company, the good thing about them is that they are very objective driven, making sure our company doesn't deviate too far in our discussion.

This week I kept challenging myself daily whether I could give up one different thing to God. There were times I almost broke down because there were some things I told God it was just too hard to give up to Him, there were people I really loved, imagine how difficult it was for Abraham to agree to sacrifice his son. It made me realize how closely I was holding on to these things instead of leaving them in God's hands. This week I looked at each of my cell members and really cried to God for each of them, that he would increase their hunger for Him. I think we need to break that spirit of contentment in the sense that we have to keep asking for more from the Lord. I want to know you on a deeper level Lord, there must be more than this.

No words

2007-05-05T03:36:00.000+10:00

No words

I love you, I need you
Though my world may fall
I'll never let you go

Each day I have decided to challenge myself whether I am willing to give up everything for the Lord. Most of the time I am disappointed with myself because I know that deep down, my answer is still a no.

I was humbled again when I met Jon for dinner on tuesday because of realized the extent of his love for people and that just left me in awe of God. Although I only slept at 4am talking on the phone on thursday night, I knew it was worth it because Nigel pointed out to me exactly why I was feeling like that for the past few weeks but didn't now how to explain it. Something in me just wanted to burst out during worship today because I felt so free after God spoke to me through Nigel. I think I will share that in my christian thoughts page. I told God I needed him to bring more christian brothers to run along aside me after the spiritual support vacuum I felt when 2 people I could share with and talk to deeply, left just like that.

My real friends will know that I would never be too busy for them because I will drop everything if they need someone to talk to. Sometimes it is not about what is seen but what is unseen that is whatGod delights in. I had a lot of thoughts the past week and I'm simply trying to pen them down. Many times however, I stop short of writing them because a certain someone might read them.

Cultivating that Family

2007-04-25T20:21:00.000+10:00

Cultivating that Family

Well, if anything it has been pure madness the past few days. I think combining with Steve's guys has helped pull in the MIA people. After all I guess it's good to fall back on our roots sometimes, the BOB that was built last year. Steve's and my cell are extensions of a BOB foundation that was laid by someone who had a vision for this group that as much as I try not to say it, people from outside very much want to be a part of either Steve's bunch or my gang. The only reason our 2 groups have been going strong is because there are people within who have a heart for others.

Last night, our cell pulled off our first actual surprise. You know how when it is close to some one's birthday they sort of know or preempt that you are planning something. According to her, it almost moved her to tears when she saw us and that was when I felt myself inside wanting to praise Him and say thank you for this family you have built within our cell. Members from all over the city congregating in one place because they realize it means alot to someone even though we left only at 1.30am.

So a random potbless in Frances's place for 3 of their birthdays on sunday, poker night with Steve's guys on sat, birthday surprise for her on tue midnight, soccer with them again on ANZAC day, waking up at 4.30am to watch man utd beat ac milan with Harry, I just can't help but clasp my hands and say "Thank you for times such as these".

Who would you take?

2007-04-21T17:12:00.000+10:00

Who would you take?

Let's say one day there is a hurricane approaching and you are driving in your car down a road where you pass a bus stop. There are 3 people sitting at the bus stop, 1) An elderly woman who is hurt and needs to get to the hospital 2) Your best friend, he saved you life 3) The girl of your dreams. The problem is you only have space in your car for one person, so what do you do?

This question is tricky because it was asking me to choose between compassion, friendship and love; my moral side, my relationship side and love side. In fact I like this kind of questions because it helps you think what you really prioritize in life. Does it mean we have to leave some people disappointed to please others? Pareto efficiency where it is impossible to make someone better off without making the other worse off?

Actually no, forget that, thinking along those lines probably implies to a certain degree that you are selfish. Ain't it survival of the fittess?

"You pass your car keys to your best friend. Tell him to drive the old lady to the hospital. Then you sit at the bus stop and stay there with the girl of your dreams."

Crazy, stressful week ahead..

2007-04-16T22:42:00.000+10:00

Crazy, stressful week ahead..
Sometimes it's truly a warfare out there. It feels like life is a battle. You know you shouldn't be fighting it yourself but you still do. Does it have to be like this? Can there ever be a capacitor to smoothen out the high and low effect?

"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." Most of the time it is having to fight off the lies that I'm not running the cell better than it is at the moment. But why doesn't this person respond? Sometimes I feel that for all the problems I know which exist among my cell, my friends, I don't pray enough. I miss the feeling of someone following up on me or just giving me friendly advice. But surely there must be a reason why God allowed Chris and Nigel to leave after 1 year of looking after me.

I know even a small word of encouragement goes a long way. I'm not sure how she knew, but her message came at the right time when I was feeling a combination of stress, anger and helplessness while doing the OB assignment myself. I didn't need any more sympathy, just someone to spur me on and tell me I was doing a good job and I really thank God for using her. It helped me re-align my focus.

What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and grief to bear,
What a privilege to carry,
Everything to God in prayer.
Oh what peace we often forfeit,
Oh what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry,
Everything to God in prayer.

Easter Camp 2007 - A journey with God

2007-04-10T23:57:00.000+10:00

Easter Camp 2007 - A Journey with God My Beloved Cell
DG BOB

My second Easter camp was a crazy experience. I struggled in my heart and questioned God a lot. Through this however, I really learnt something. Not so much the message, though it also taught me a lot, but in helping out in a discovery group(DG). To explain to non-christians about the love of Christ, to minister to my cell members who had issues and broke down before the Lord and that he guided the words on my mouth to say what was right while speaking heart-to-heart issues with members. It is an experience no one can ever snatch away from me.

After the 4 day 3 night camp, went to hang out with Steve, Jon, WH at Brandon's place where we tried out his realistic Nindendo Wii. It was not just the fun of gaming but the chance to hang out with BOB members again which I rarely have a chance to do nowadays because being in a different cell.

Run for Kids... or rather Run for Free

2007-04-01T13:19:00.000+10:00

Run for Kids... or rather Run for Free

No its not a joke. Today was not any regular Sunday. There was this massive charity run event called "Run for Kids" and Harry and I took up the challenge of running the 15.2km route, the other alternative being the 3.4km route. After being a spectator to this popular event 1 year ago, I was a participant in it this time mainly because of Harry's determination to complete 15km of mileage

I think we were one of the few non-Australians in the race but no surprise because its the Aussies who seem to enjoy this sort of thing. Even those 'mums' and middle-aged men whom we always think can't run, ran considerably fast, in the 15.2km route! So you had one Korean and another Singapore Malaysian pacing each other all the way to the 10 km mark before he asked me not to slow down for his sake any longer and with another confirmation that it was ok with him, I sprinted ahead.

The first 3km was a breeze that we were commenting that if we had done the shorter route it would be over just like that. No kick. As the race went on I could see Harry's face covered with sweat, he was tiring fast, so I lowered my pace and let him run slightly in front of me because I know it helps psychologically. I would be lying to say that I wasn't tempted to burst ahead after seeing a couple of people stream by us(especially those mums!) but I stuck to running alongside my buddy because he nearly walked on a couple of occasions and I couldn't allow that to happen. To catch up with people ahead, we ran slightly faster uphill because most people slow down when the effects of gravity become stronger. He was always looking forward to the next water station where we could drench ourselves in the cool weather.

At the 9km water station, Hui Ling, Sue, Michelle and Grace were helping holding out cups to people running past. I think they volunteered to help out in the race. They were almost like my cheer-leading squad encouraging me on enthusiastically in unison. But alas, when Harry gave me the green light to run ahead after 10km, I sprinted as if I had been let loose. I used this 13 year old small Australian girl as my marker. Yes, that young but oh my goodness she was sprinting as fast as I did and was able to sustain it. I think she could sense it too. When I was behind her, I would make the effort to catch up with her and when I dashed pass her, she would try to keep up with me and overtake me again. She beat me eventually.

With the end in sight, I did another last burst again and zoomed past the finish line, its not about the starting, but finishing strong. The big joke between Harry and I today was that we Ran for Free not for Kids. We couldn't sign up in time for the event so we were unofficial participants. The only difference was not having a number given to us but that didn't matter because they still gave me the goodie bag on finishing the race.

To Amanda who thought I would faint halfway, to Ai Jet would doubted whether I could complete the race, to my former gym partner in Malaysia who always says I don't do cardio and to others who thought I have become an unfit, let this race speak for itself, haha. No prior training, running my longest race ever, not even once thinking of walking, even more so stopping, sleeping only 6hrs, eating pizza for every meal since friday evening, I still completed 15.2km in 1hr 3o mins.

Firstfruits of Our Time

2007-03-29T10:37:00.000+10:00

Firstfruits of Our Time

I thank God that in spite of having quite a crappy group for Organisational Behaviour he has come through for us, or rather me. In tutorial they asked us to brainstorm in our groups, a solution to solve an organisation's management problems based on different motivation theories. So each group had to do one theory. As usual my group was clueless, one of them gave an idea or two but nothing really substantial. Suddenly a solution just popped into my head and when I presented our 'group' idea to the rest of class, the aussie tutor simply replied in 3 words "That was brilliant!" Because I was the first to present, I found the rest of the groups referring back to my solution for their own solution. This is not another opportunity to boost my ego, but an opportunity to give all glory back to God. Even in the small things he guides us.

Yesterday at the leaders meeting for ocf, known as upcell. One of the leader shared on a very interesting concept which I must also share with you. It's about giving God the firstfruits of our time.

Proverbs 3:9
Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops.

2 Chronicles 31:5
The Israelites generously gave the firstfruits of their grain, new wine, oil and honey and all that the fields produced. They brought a great amount, a tithe of everything.

How many of us are actually able to do our quiet time everyday in the week? I will admit at times I struggle with it though I am more consistent than in the past. We need to give God the firstfruits of our time, the best, not the scraps and leftovers. Most of the time, busyness is a factor that deprives us of proper time with God.

To illustrate, here's a story:
A professor showed to his class a container which was filled to the top with rocks. He asked them whether the container was completely full. Logically the answer was "yes", which is what most of the students replied to his question. However the professor told them they were all wrong, and he took out a bag of sand and poured it into the container, which filled the spaces in between the rocks. He asked them the second time whether they thought the container was full. This time, the students were smarter, and most of them replied no to his second question. The professor demonstrated why they were correct this time and poured a glass of water into the container, which filled the remaining spaces in the container. He asked the class this time, "what point am I trying to illustrate here?" The students paused for a while until one of the smartest student in the class raised his hand and said " No matter how busy we think we all are, we can always fit in many other activities into our schedule." The answer sounded right but the professor shook his head. "The point I am trying to illustrate here is that if we put in the big rocks or important things (time with God) in our life first into our schedule, we will find that we can still fit in other smaller sand or less important things in life (studies, friendships and everything else) into our daily activities."

Going Chinese?

2007-03-28T11:21:00.000+10:00

Going Chinese?

1 耶和华的灵（原文是手）降在我身上。耶和华藉他的灵带我出去，将我放在平原中；这平原遍满骸骨。
2 他使我从骸骨的四围经过，谁知在平原的骸骨甚多，而且极其枯乾。
3 他对我说：人子啊，这些骸骨能复活麽？我说：主耶和华啊，你是知道的。
4 他又对我说：你向这些骸骨发预言说：枯乾的骸骨啊，要听耶和华的话。
5 主耶和华对这些骸骨如此说：我必使气息进入你们里面，你们就要活了。
6 我必给你们加上筋，使你们长肉，又将皮遮蔽你们，使气息进入你们里面，你们就要活了；你们便知道我是耶和华。
7 於是，我遵命说预言。正说预言的时候，不料，有响声，有地震；骨与骨互相联络。

If you couldn't see the words clearly, simply copy it and paste it on microsoft word and enlarge the words.

The power of the word of God comes alive despite it being translated into so many languages. That somehow isn't the case for most books, it's just like how it isn't as nice to read "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" in English or Classic English Novels like C.S Lewis books in Chinese.

Incidentally that passage is taken from one of books of the old testament, try to guess where that is from. I'll put up the English translation soon. The word of God is sharper than any two-edged sword. It went straight to my heart today and for that brief moment I realized how much meaning there is in God's power even though you may have read it before. It brings a new revelation.

To uni for now...

Time for a re-charge

2007-03-26T19:27:00.000+10:00

Time for a re-charge

Bible study at home cell brought out so many challenging questions people had on their mind. A challenge because a lot of them have no definitive answer. "Can you actually sin your way out of heaven?", "Why does God create these people called Israelites, create another group of people called Egyptians who force these Israelites to become their slaves and then God goes on to punish the Egyptians when he could have prevent their oppression in the first place." And yet I was surprised that God gave me the wisdom to answer them after using the tactic of posing the question back to the group and asking them what they thought.

God reminded me again of what he had revealed to me at LTC last year when Graeme prayed for me. "The Lord wants to remind you not to take people's burdens upon yourself, rather release them to Him and intercede for those people in prayer." It then dawned upon me that perhaps I was starting to shoulder my cell members burdens by worrying about how to help them. How foolish I was to isolate God from this area. Carrying burdens wasn't meant for humans, God told us to pass it on to him so we could have rest. Every time there was something positive to rejoice about for the cell, someone would bring up something which seemed to drag my spirits back down again and get me back in deep thought. It's not easy to explain all this to a friend unless it is someone who was in the same cell leaders position.

Serving as a cell leader for ocf is probably the toughest leadership position I ever assumed in my life, in fact even captaining Sji's or AC's canoeing team is nothing compared to this. Nobody said it was going to be easy. The reason I post this is not to gain your sympathy or to paint you a sob story. I want you to know that through my weakness, God's power will all the more be revealed. I'm like a battery being charged by Him now after a period of seeing all my power get depleted. But only if you want to be re-charged in the first place. "A broken and contrite spirit, you will not despise."

Yes this is a year of challenge but it is also a year of victory.

OB!!!

2007-03-20T19:47:00.000+11:00

OB!!!

What an irony! Organizational Behaviour is supposed to be the study of how we manage people or relate to them on the corporate level across various genders, races and cultures. It explains how people have perceptial biases about others without knowing them too well. Being a project based subject, we have to form a group to complete many tutorial questions and major assignments for the rest of the semester. Now, here I am, finding myself stuck with 3 China students and one Hong Kong guy, all of whom don't speak very fluent English and needing help to understand what certain English words mean. Yet we are doing an assignment on the very subject our group probably needs to put into practice. So do you know how I tried to communicate with them more effectively? I discussed part of the project with them in Chinese...

Flee from temptation

2007-03-14T22:27:00.000+11:00

Flee from temptation

It's really challenging to see two friends do something wrong in front of your eyes and try to find a means of telling them without hurting them. By 'wrong' I mean something that is sinful in the eyes of God and obviously something you know your parents themselves will disapprove if they catch you in the act.

We often use the standards imposed by society to judge whether we should be doing something in the first place. The world has clearly distorted the high standards of God. "His ways are higher than our ways". If we set our own standards then we are our own God and what's the point in that if we keep lowering the bar so that we wont break our own laws. There is no quality control. God's degrees are the benchmark we should strive towards.

A lot of times there are lies from the evil one who tells us that compromising a bit here and there will not hurt. That's how it always starts and leads to eventually downfall when we look back to see how much we have degraded ourselves from God's standards. The bible says "flee from temptation", in fact part of the Lord's prayer goes by "lead us not into temptation". Notice it does not say "put yourself in a place of temptation and try to resist it". As much as this notion sounds ridiculous, sadly people still do it and I really hope that God will convict their hearts. It is the same reason why you don't leave money lying around even though you trust your friend will not take it, or how you don't sleep on the same bed as the opposite sex although you don't do anything, or how you try not to look around during an examination in case you 'accidently' glance upon someone's answer script although you believe you would not cheat.

I like this analogy that went something like this: There was a man who wanted to hire a rider for his horse. 3 riders applied for the position so the owner took them to a cliff and asked them to show how close to the edge of the cliff they could stop his horse while riding on it at top speed. The first rider managed to stop the horse within 10m from the edge of the cliff. This impressed the owner. The second rider went next and did even better. 5m from the edge of the cliff. When it came to the third rider, he took the horse, turned and rode in the other direction away from the cliff. The owner hired him on the spot. It's not about how close we can come to the edge of the cliff without falling, it is about how far away from the cliff we can stay that matters.

Good idea, so now what?

2007-03-09T13:53:00.000+11:00

Good idea, so now what?

Why do people often fail to keep their resolutions at the start of the new year? It is not so much that their goals were terrible or their vision was not strong enough. It is because we often fail to have the applicational aspects involved. Like trying to constantly link what you do back to the overall theme.

When we learn new subjects every semester. Individual topics always link back to the big picture, they are part of a larger framework or scheme of things. They are useless when studied in isolation because if we discover which part of the jigsaw puzzle they fit, we can see a question in the exam and know immediately which area the question is testing you on.

We are often reminded that a deeds without a vision is pointless. But just as pointless is a vision without active steps to reach that goal.

God-Centred Living

2007-03-08T12:37:00.000+11:00

God-Centred Living

When the word of God is strong in your life, it will be a protection against the schemes of the enemy.
When the truth of God is strong in your heart, it will be a protection against the lies of the adversary.
It sounded very simple when the prophet from Africa came to speak at a church conference whilst I was in Singapore over the summer. Yet these statements have remained ingrained into my memory because I see its application and practicality. It is true. When you are filled with the fear of the Lord it dominates your thoughts, your actions and filters out anything which is not of God, there are no more double standards even in the little things we think no one sees there is that need to honour God.

2nd year in university is no joke anymore, no more time to afford relaxing within the early weeks and try to cramp everything in a few weeks closer to exam. Yet the surprising fact is when you give up your best time to God, time I could use to watch 'heroes' or nail in an hour or two of solid studying, God gives it back to you. Either he helps you become more efficient in studying or he seemingly adds a couple of hours to the limited 24 we have each day. Instead of being overwhelmed by cell commitments, I thank God for helping me find joy in serving him with all my heart, soul and strength.

Living outside college now is a big change in lifestyle. Nothing can beat flatting out and having to be aware of the affairs of the apartment such as cooking and cleaning up. On Monday I successfully cooked dinner for the 3 of us. And without being biased I thought the mushroom chicken I cooked was good, I reckon Koon Yee thought so too because we ate till we were so full.
I feel even more at home in Melbourne than I have been in the past year.

Cell groups

2007-03-05T12:43:00.000+11:00

Cell Groups

The first night leading my new cell was such a blast! A fairly large number of new people were put in my cell and I reckon that was a good thing because newcomers will always add spice the the existing members whom I was suppose to take over when Nigel came up with that list to divide our BOB cell.

I spent the afternoon seeking the Lord for directions, asking him to empower me to lead the cell in the way he wants it to be. You will actually be suprised how all things really do indeed work out for the good of those who love him. My initial concerns that the group would be too quiet were eleviated once we reached the second icebreaker. As people got more involved in the game, the more they displayed some emotion or more of themselves. I was actually really impressed that the members themselves actually took the effort to converse with one another while I was settling some administrative stuff before we proceeded for supper at where else but universal pizza again. It looks like Frances and I will have to start looking for an alternative place to eat in Lygon next time. Perhaps somewhere in the city for a change once the cell has gotten to know each other a bit better. Somehow ocf, without chris talking about tons of stuff when we meet, and Nigel calling everyone handsome, is a very different. Anyway Frances and I were still laughing at how we both got identical smses from Nigel at the same time.

"Ben did you receive any message?"
"Hmm let me check..yea I did, from Nigel"
"Does it say this? ..........."
"Yea! The same, isnt that so Nigel..haha, let me ask Steve whether he got it as well!"

So that was friday night for me, believing God for many more fun-filled nights like this to come. On sunday back at my Aussie church at AOG for the first time, the worship was so vibrant. An atmosphere of praise filled the place like never before. However we should not equate the effectiveness of the worship with the level of God's presence in the place. Now back to another busy week of university.

Waking to Uni is far?

2007-02-28T11:50:00.000+11:00

Walking to Uni is far?

The other day I reached uni in a record time of 20 mins from my new appartment by what I call power walking. That is in contrast to double the time of about 40 mins by strolling. Such is the power of power walking that you get to save time and exercise in one goal, killing 2 birds with 1 stone. I will try to limit my use of trams as far as possible given that a single trip costs a whopping $2.60. Over 5 days that makes $13 which can cover the cost of my lunch for one whole week. Again it is the issue of incentives(in my earlier posts) when I stay outside on my own, sometimes it is not just the economic incentive which drives you to save but the moral incentive, the guilt of not wanting to spend too much of your parents' money.

I had a really enjoyable dinner last night, Eastern European food, a small restaurant in St. Kilda's which Jeremy brought us to to celebrate his 21st along with Carina and Lynsey. Somehow when you know you are a cell leader you tend to see things in a different light, feeling more of the urgency to bridge the connection with people you don't normally hang out with as often. Even just going out for supper last friday with Russell and Kevin, I'm not sure if I would have agreed to go out so late especially when Nigel was around, I would probably have left it to him. But I have certainly been helped out by God especially when i found out a few days ago that Harry was my next door neighbour! so that means I can go over anytime to catch up with him.

This friday is probably going to be an exciting night..

The Good and the Bad

2007-02-26T10:43:00.000+11:00

The Good and the Bad

Moving into a new appartment was never easy for me. I arrived to a place without electicity because apparently the providing company had lost my form. 2 beeping sounds in the house were irritating and so loud that it disturbed my attempts to get a good rest after staying up all night in the overnight flight to Melbourne because I got a free upgrade to business class and wanted to fully enjoy the comfort of the flight. Later I traced the sounds to the smoke detectors and it took me a whopping effort to pry open the smoke detector casing because the previous tenant superglued it together as if it was some sort of joke.

Things got better after electricity finally fillled the place I was living in by myself because Hao Ern and Koon Yee hadn't arrived back from Malaysia yet. Fortunately there was already water from the start so I was able to answer to nature's numerous calls along the way, big calls included. As you might have guessed, the wait for internet connection is taking some time amd so I am confined to coming to the library after lecture this monday morning, the start of uni again, to voice out what I have been going through.

Last saturday was really one of the most brilliant leaders retreat I had been to. The aim of the camp was to set the direction for leaders as we commence the beginning of the academic year. But what touched me was the passion and the unity of leaders in wanting to see our university saved for God's kingdom and confirmation after confirmation has been telling us that we are poised to expect tremendous things in melbourne uni ocf this year. "In which position is your heart higher than your head? When we are in a posture of kneeling with our face pressing against the ground" That is the utmost position of humility, a symbolic gesture of saying that we put our heart above our intellect where we as servants of Christ will not rely on information but revelation from God.

I managed to talk a fair bit with Frances and Steve at the retreat about several issues regarding cell matters, we realized it was going to be a challenge because of the sheer size of each person's cell but we wait in confident expectation that God will provide. Hopefully Steve and I will able to help each other out in our respective cells we are leading when necessary. Because it was Jeremy's 21st, I also got drawn into the friendly cake fight and eventually wrestling with Jeremy in front of 30 other ocf leaders, I ended smelling like chocolate cake nonetheless but perhaps it was something to mark his special milestone in his life.

I want to share finally that as much as you give, God will honour you and give back to you. The ocf committee aired their concerns over the state of the finances for our ocf centre because we were practically operating by a week-by-week basis. When they decided to take an offering, God laid onto my heart a considerable sum to give. I almost tripped upon giving because such a significant sum would blow a hole in any students pocket. I wanted to half the initial amount I was giving when the offering bag was near. But a thought came to me, we are not shortchanging God but we are shortchanging ourselves when we give. I also recalled how David in the bible said that he would not offer anything to God which cost him nothing. Thus I went ahead to put in the amount God impressed upon my heart. Well it didnt feel too bad after that.

Later in the evening when Ailing's parents invited us over for dinner, I received a hongbao from her mum. Honestly in was a pleasant suprise because I trully did not even think of getting one having put the cny festivities behind me when I came to Melbourne. On the way back to the appartment by tram in the night, I decided to open the hongbao. I drew out a note equivalent to the amount I gave to God. I was overjoyed not at having got the 'money back' but more so that God had honoured me by blessing back in return when I gave to Him.

The principle behind it: God doesnt need your money, he has a vast array of resources to draw on. What he wants you to give him is your heart, not your money.

Isaiah 60
[1] "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you. [2] See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the LORD rises upon you and his glory appears over you. [3] Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn.

Melbourne bound again

2007-02-21T16:29:00.000+11:00

Melbourne bound again

Without the red packets or 'hongbaos' as we call it in Chinese, Chinese new year would take on a whole new dimension. There wouldn't be much point in visiting people for the sake of doing so, or gambling without the cash and so it would probably just be another excuse to eat and laze about doing nothing. Sure there is the tradition and family reunion dinners as well as other aspects of Chinese new year that we would probably need to respect but nothing beats the thrill of receiving red packets. After all, we don't mind having extra money to spend.

We try not to judge people by the amount they put inside your red packet but generally based on my experience, there exist a positive correlation between the closeness of the person to you and the amount of money received in the red packet. Also, there exist a slight positive correlation between the general wealth of a person and the amount of money received in the red packet. This New year however, I noticed an anomaly in the trend, I honestly felt that person A got far less than what I would expect person B would give given person B's rich background. I found out a whole new meaning to being stingy. It was probably to the point that it was insulting. $1.

Haha, I really felt sorry for person A. But to deviate from the topic now, in a few hours I will be bound for the airport boarding the plane which brings me to Melbourne. To all the friends I caught up with in Singapore, take care, it will be another 9 months.

Happy Chinese New Year

2007-02-16T13:08:00.000+11:00

Happy Chinese New Year

It is another beautiful day outside. Once again I awake to pack two separate pieces of suitcases, one bound for Melbourne in less than a week's time and another bound for KL today, for the last time this summer.

To keep it short and sweet, Happy Chinese New Year!

Some random thoughts

2007-02-15T02:04:00.000+11:00

Some random thoughts

Even as the novelty of Valentine's day wears off and we recover from all the candy exchanges between friends, kissing couples in the streets and love-filled notes, I sit at home reflecting a lot on the new academic year to come, on what responsibilities will be entrusted upon me by ocf, how I want to discover even more about Melbourne without compromising on studies and what living outside of hostel will be like.

It is simple to remember that the day I first left for the land of the outback was 1 year ago on valentine's day, only that this time I'm going back later because I shall not need to attend the orientation for freshers. Indeed even coming back to Singapore to spend my summer has been a luxury. Sometimes I guess we don't realize how fortunate we really are to afford a college degree or rather how fortunate we are that are parents can support our college degree.

I had a really good chat with chee khoon yesterday about a few heart to heart issues. There are only so many people whom you can relate to that way and who are actually sensitive enough to know how the other person feels and I thank God for a friend like him. We were so engrossed in our conversation that we walked right out of the eating place without remembering to pay. It was only when we were a considerable distance away did we realize. Otherwise I probably would have gone back to pay for it as I believe in giving what rightly belongs to others.

This post is probably different from the recent ones in the sense that I probably talked a bit more about myself rather than something I find interesting, maybe it was time to get in touch with my feelings again. One more CNY and it will be time to say my last goodbyes before another 9 months or so again..

"Rigidity carried to the extreme"

2007-02-13T03:39:00.000+11:00

"Rigidity carried to the extreme"

Suppose the prime minister is coming to visit your company. But your company headquarters is a considerable distance from the main entrance and company regulation forbids cars not belonging to company staff from entering through the main gate. It means that outsiders usually have to stop their car just outside the main entrance and walk a considerable distance of about 500m to proceed to the headquarters office. The company puts you in charge of overseeing the prime minister's visit with a week's notice given in advance. So you go and try to liaise with the security person in charge of restricting access to the area, explaining to him the prime minister is coming and to allow his car to come in on the day of his visit. The problem is the security guy replies "rules are rules", he insists that his superior has in the past instructed him not to let any outside cars in and the prime minister has no choice but to walk in. He isn't being flexible according the different circumstance. You know that there's no point arguing with him but you can't allow a VVIP to walk in, that is downright insulting! So what do you do assuming the Prime Minister's car will not be allowed to drive in?

My travels to Malaysia this summer break has been as follows. 2 times to KL and 2 times to Sabah. Most people didn't realize I was away in Sabah the past week, thus there was a mini break between my blogging spree. Sabah again? Yup, but this time it was to go and help my mum run her workshop on personality profiling for corporate effectiveness. I decided to embrace the spirit of learning thus although I was helping her out I was sort of learning on the job as well.

If you think you know it all about personality profiling you don't. We all have come across DISC profiling but forgot what have learnt. That stuff is not even scientifically proven and we don't really see its application in our daily life but Emergenetics is.

Emergenetics is a course which constitutes the merging of brains and behavior. Their theory rests on the fact that we all draw on different parts of the brain in carrying out our daily activities yet we have a preference for certain types of thinking. 4 main thinking preferences: Analytical, structural, social and conceptual. It was amazing how my mum could predict the way each person would respond to the activities given to them in the workshop based on the outcome of their profile. The valuable lesson I learnt was how to relate to people with different thinking preferences once you roughly figured out what their thinking preference was like based on their personality as I know them to be.

The question I posed in the first paragraph was a result of someone being too structural, only wanting to follow guidelines that he was not willing to make a simple exception for the prime minister. In work, we will probably face with problems like this in which people arent willing to cooperate, we need to draw increasingly on our conceptual creative side to respond to the everchanging work environment. Among some of the answers the participants gave were "carry the prime minister", "escort the prime minister to the headquarters" and "apologize to him". I was sensing that the answers were getting more riduculous until someone raised his hand and said "Just roll out the red carpet la!"

The Economics of Incentives

2007-02-11T23:38:00.000+11:00

The Economics of Incentives

Imagine a typical childcare centre where parents can drop off their kids and pick them up at the end of the day. The problem is that there are always a number of late pickups everyday, resulting in teachers having to stay back beyond their working hours and wait with the kids for their parents to arrive. So the childcare centre decides to impose a fine of $3 for every late pickup. Will the number of parents arriving late now increase, decrease or remain the same? A real experiment was actually done on one childcare centre and the results were: from an average number of 8 late pickups of week, it rose to 20 late pickups a week.

We learn that economics is the study of how society solves the problem of scarcity. Allocation of resources is based on incentives, even the whole framework of demand and supply rests on the principle of incentives, why we demand more when price is low and why sellers supply more when they can garner a high price in the market. The fact is that we tend to respond to incentives both positive and negative because we want anything that benefits us but also want to avoid anything that harms us. So incentives take 3 general forms; economic, social and moral.

Using the example cited by the author in "Freakonomics" during an anti-smoking campaign; the imposition of a tax on cigarettes is an economic incentive against purchase of cigarettes; when restaurants and shopping malls ban smoking in their vicinity, it acts as a social incentive; when it is reported that terrorist earn through the sale of cigarettes it acts as a moral incentive.

Back to the childcare centre issue, so why did the number of late pickups go up after the imposition of the fine? Perhaps the $3 fine was a negligible sum to pay. However more importantly, the $3 fine effectively subsituted an economic incentive for a moral one. It allowed parents to buy off their guilt of coming late at a mere price of $3. It indicated that late pickups weren't much of a problem to the childcare centre since it was only caused a few dollars worth of trouble.

My point in illustrating this issue is that we live in a world governed by incentives. We join activities which allow us to move up the social ladder, we work hard in college because we want to pave a successful carreer outcome, we do charity events because of the social incentive of being seen by others as doing something good for society. Every of us will come across the opportunity to steal many times in life but why don't we do it? Moral incentives; I won't do something I believe is wrong. Social incentives; what would my friends think of me next time?

But even developing a strong moral incentive, it is hard to resist when temptation kicks in. This is where God comes in. When people are filled with convictions, with a promise which God holds us accountable to, it becomes an even more powerful deterrent in not wanting to disappoint Him after all that he has blessed us with. With Christ as a guiding light always in the centre of all our decisions, we no longer need to ask ourselves "what benefit will I get out of doing this?" but we wait in confident expectation of his blessings in our lives when we obey his commands.

5 Things you should know about Melbourne

2007-02-06T21:08:00.000+11:00

5 Things you should know about Melbourne

I've been wanting to post this for quite sometime. All the points are based on experience and I thought I'll just share them with anyone going to study in Melbourne or just going there for holiday.

1) Expect the Unexpected
Don't get alarmed if you see streakers running through the city or a whole line of naked men walking through the lecture theatre in the midst of class. At first it may be a bit of a shock especially for more conservative Asians but after while you get used to it and embrace it in the spirit of fun. Demonstrations on the streets are also a common occurence but most of them are peaceful ones protesting against stuff like the war on Iraq which seem pointless sometimes.

2) Trams are expensive, and so are their fines
Of course converting the cost of a $3.20 2hr tram ride back to our home currency always works out to be a ridiculously large sum. But beware if you decide not to pay and break the law, beware of the $150 fine slapped in your face if you get caught by a tram inspector. Don't ask me for tips on evading the inspectors. You learn from experience. Having said that, why go through the fear and hassle of looking out for inspectors at every stop who come in plain clothes sometimes. It's a question of integrity. Just pay or walk.

3) People are not as racist as you think
One of the FAQs about coming to Melbourne or Australia in general is "Are the people there racist?" Well, if you stay in a big city like Melbourne such occurances of racism or name calling are few because half the city is virtually populated by Asians and Aussies there would have got used to living with Asians around though to them every chinese they see must be from China. So don't need to be worried. In fact most of the Aussies are quite friendly and nice to talk to if you bother making conversations with them. Usually if they say anything racist they are most probably drunk.

4) There's no shortage of good food
Men apart from Sydney, I pity those folks in other parts of Australia. Most people complain about the lack of good Malaysian or Singapore food but hey what did you expect? There's still plenty of good chinese food around chinatown and russell street. Places with great roast duck, char siew and so on. Morever you get exposed to wider varieties of food especially along Lygon street like thai, italian, vietnamese, greek and much more. Stop comparing them back to places back home, try new stuff. For starters its much better than Brisbane.

5) 4 Seasons in a Day
Suppose you wake up in the morning and see the sun rays shining through your window, don't be so eager to change into your T-shirt and shorts and go out. I always need to check the forecast for the day or if you can't be bothered, just bring your jacket along. I'm speaking from experience. It doesnt just change from being hot to cold or vice versa, it also changes from being sunny to rainy or the otherway in a day. You may want to stay indoors when there is a hail stones as well.

But you know what... I still love Melbourne.

Its about respect

2007-02-05T19:30:00.000+11:00

Its about respect

Since I arrived in Sabah, I have watched 1 NBA game, liverpool vs everton, thailand vs singapore, tottenham vs manchester united, NFL superbowl final where Indiannapolis won. In addition I caught 1 episode each of CSI Miami and New York. Alright I know what you might be thinking, come all the way here to watch tv? Sadly yes because the real fun hasn't started yet. David has yet to arrive and so have my parents.

Fortunately I have also been brought around quite a fair bit by my working cousin as well as his girlfriend who was nice enough to ask me to play badminton, though I was probably too tired and lazy by then due to all the stuffing of myself with good food which one would be unlikely to be find in singapore, melbourne and even west malaysia. There seem to be quite a number of American and Aussie tourists as well. But you know I just hate it when Asians try to 'suck up' to them. Come on, be proud of being an Asian.

We are the ones with the higher average test scores, better variety of food and a fair amount of business sense. An advice to those going to western countries to pursue futher studies: Don't let the whites look down on you. Most people don't realize that we as individuals are unique in their own way. Show respect for them but there's no need to feel inferior or lesser compared to them.

The daily mindset

2007-02-03T04:11:00.000+11:00

The daily mindset

What a month january has been. Soon the Melbourne journey will begin again for the second time, promising newer and exciting things to come. I would be lying if I say I don't look forward to embrace the new academic year abroad again. More so, if what God said was right, we can expect great and powerful stuff from Him.

There are days when I wake up and think to myself, "what are my plans for today?" Yet on other days, I climb out of bed saying to myself, "there's so many stuff to do today!" I realise it all depends on what you see as important and your attitute when you get up in the morning. If you regard going to the gym for your daily workout as routine, you wouldn't find much thrill and motivation in doing it. If you see book reading as just a means to pass time you won't enjoy the life which the book can bring out. Even if you treat meeting up with friends as just some excuse to go out, the fellowship we have will be compromised.

Let's face it, our daily outlook is probably going to affect the kind of day we are going to have. The question is what we do with the time given to us rather than why am I so free at a time when everyone else is busy. I guess you can say this is more applicable to me now because I seem to be so free while the rest of you are busy minding the stuff that you have to do. But the principle is clear. "This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Fortunately I have been having more 'so many things to do days' than 'what can i do days'. Tomorrow, I go to Sabah for a 2nd time. This time its about helping my mum run management courses for one of the Malaysian companies.

Indispensable Man

2007-02-01T02:43:00.000+11:00

Indispensable Man

Sometime when you're feeling important;
Sometime when your ego's in bloom;
Sometime when you take for granted,
You're the best qualified in the room.

Sometime when you feel that your going
Would leave an unfillable hole;
Just follow this simple instruction,
And see how it humbles your soul.

Take a bucket and fill it with water,
Put your hand in it up to the wrist;
Pull it out and the hole that's remaining,
Is a measure of how you'll be missed.

You may splash all you please when you enter,
You can stir up the water galore;
But stop and you'll find in a minute,
That it looks quite the same as before.

The moral in this quaint example
Is to do just the best that you can;
Be proud of yourself, but remember
There's no indispensable man!

I was dwelling on this poem for a while today after reading it in a book by John C. Maxwell. It is a true demonstration of humility. One is too small a number to achieve greatness. From it comes a good reminder that if we stand in a position of success and greatness, remember it was never achieved alone and so we have to appreciate those who helped us, even in little ways.

Studies have shown that all people want to feel that they are special or have made a contribution in one way or another. We tend to want credit for a completed job, for people to recognise our contributions, to get ahead in the corporate world. But thats not how we should operate. I believe christ is the rewarder of those who are humble and constantly give glory back to God. One of my weaknesses in early years was that I was perhaps too egoistic, feeling that I had to constantly prove a point to stand out from others. Let us learn to surrender all to Him because we owe it all to Him.

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

The world is flat

2007-01-31T04:01:00.000+11:00

The world is Flat

The more I glance around, the more I realize how the world has trully become flat. It has opened up a new perspective on the way I look at things. Yes, with reference to Thomas Friedman's book, I began to understand why he brings across this particular point that we live in an era where playing fields are being levelled and smaller companies are thus able to compete with the big guys. My understanding of globalization and how it affects us was so limited until I picked up the book to discover the extent outsourcing has become, the importance of supply chains and why being versatile beats being a specialist or a generalist.

Think about it. India and China produce tens of thousands of accountants each year. What makes you certain you are more likely to be hired compared to them when you have equal qualifications? More and more components and functions are being outsourced where possible. From basic accounting functions to analysing radiography scans from hospitals. Creativity and knowledge will drive the new era of globalization because these are skills which cannot be easily outsourced to lower wage competing countries. We live in time whereby today's wants become tomorrow's needs. Handphones which used to be deemed as a luxury are now gadgets most cannot live without. Those at the forefront or at the cutting edge of innovation will be those who drive economies because they are able to constantly come up with different products or a different approach to business operations.

Yet at the same time we have a generation of youth who are have fallen victim to the gadgets of our invention. We devote a lot of time to mindless computer games and television, citing the need for relaxation during our spare time. Literacy and general knowledge will decline unless we have a steady flow of information coming from reading various books. I realized there is so much knowledge to be attained from books and it makes me wonder why I didnt start earlier. Not so much the fictional ones but those self improvement and business ones. One trait I want to possess is to learn how to learn, approach things with an open mind which is willing to try out new ideas to stimulate the right brain. Learning is like rowing upstream, not to advance, is to fall backwards.

Even in the world of sports we find versatility to be a big factor for success. Adriv Shevchenko certainly had the quality when he was signed for Chelsea for 30m pounds, but as what another player mentioned, what he lacked was the versatility. In Italy he scored numerous goals, but in england he had difficulty adapting and notched up only a handful of goals, enough to be counted on one hand. That threatened his employment because of the little returns on investment when someone who was supposed to be a prolific striker struggled miserably. We need to watch our employability because people who are able to operate in different modes or handle various skill levels will be much sought after in the 21st century.

They came, they saw, they slept(in my house)

2007-01-29T00:53:00.000+11:00

They came, they saw, they slept(in my house)

It all started with the six of us meeting in Bangsar on a cold early wednesday morning. Finally after months of saying I would go up to KL to find them and they coming down to singapore, we turned our holiday plans into a reality. Even that mean lady in the bus could do little to dampen our spirits because by then we had played numerous rounds of taboo with hours of random chatter, which made the trip down to singapore seem so short. The added presence of chris in the bus too made the ride a fun-filled one.

With my place turned into a hotel to house 5 of them, we took advantage of the fact that we were staying together to play several games of risk every night, early into the wee hours of the morning to the extent we slept at 5 one night. Yet we didnt fail to make full use of the time we had together. Where did we go? Well believe it or not we went to the zoo and the night safari. We got animalistic and so we had ai jet making silly gestures to the animals in a failed attempt to attract their attention, koon yee taking pictures with his animal lookalikes, amanda screaming when the squirrel-like creatures moved in her direction, ailing trying to read some chinese sign but ended up embarassing herself and hao ern unintentionally passing off very lame remarks once in a while. The best part though, was still seeing ai jet get scared by the snake stuff toy koon yee and I put on her, some kind of friends we are..

Hopefully they found their time here well spent. We definitely did plenty of other things though the most memorable being that zoo trip when so many funny incidents happened. It was a tiring but fun-filled 3-4 days because we also took the chance to meet up with other Ihers and singaporean melbourne uni students. And yes what Dawn said was right, tresure these friendships while you have them. Since I have not posted any photos for a lengthy period of time, here's just one for starters.

On a side note, I realized I have only have one weekend day left in Singapore before I depart back to Melbourne. Means that I'll probably will not get the chance to meet some people I was hoping to at least see once. But we'll see how time permits.

Busy

2007-01-27T03:50:00.000+11:00

My Malaysian friends are in town. Busy bringing them around. Hope to update this post soon.

The truth is..

2007-01-21T16:06:00.000+11:00

The truth is..

I refer to my last post "A real holiday in KL". I have enjoyed myself much more than if I were to have stayed in Singapore over the past few days. Thursday: managed to catch up with chris and steve , friday: teoky and ai ling brought me around, sat: spent the day with grandparents and my uncle, who brought me to KLCC. But after sitting down and reflecting like I always do at the end of the day, I realize it is not what I was doing which made it a real holiday. After all, I do hang out quite often with Singaporean friends while the holidays last.

Unknowingly or sub-consciously, whichever way you want to put it, it was a real holiday for me because of the familiar feeling of freedom again. Freedom from my parents. Wait, I'm not a rebellious kid who just takes money and runs from parents. My point is, I guess after 9 months away from home, living abroad in Melbourne without my parents is something I've gotten used to. However my idea of freedom is not so much being able to do anything I want but more so having the power to make your own decisions and bearing the responsibilities involved in that decision. I'm pretty sure that is something people who study overseas can identify with me here. We are not part of some "Ditch your parents and stay on your own club". It is just something we have gotten used to. No matter how much they leave you to make your own choices, they naturally want to have a hand in helping you out and sometimes we naturally like to be spoon-fed by them. Decreased reliance on your parents and increased reliance on yourself and hence that helps to cultivate the independence we may be lacking sometimes.

However I must also add that coming back home over the summer was necessary. Because it allowed me to communicate much better with the people who have helped shaped my life. My family. Just our presence makes them happy and allows us to relate more closely and effectively.

Till then, here's to a 3 more days in KL! Cheers mate..

A real holiday in KL

2007-01-19T14:58:00.000+11:00

A real holiday in KL

Wow, the first time I travelled to KL on my own and in such comfort. Now the program revolves around what I want to do instead of following the family all the time. Arriving in KL in the evening, my uncle was there to fetch me and we went to have dinner in ss2 area.

My initial frustration was at the cable tv which kept getting cut of every few minutes because of the bad weather while I was watching some cantonese series with my grandparents at night. My second was at my mobile phone which was supposed to be autoroaming but couldnt receive any reception through the malaysian telephone network though the next day I just fiddled my phone for a bit and it finally worked perfectly fine.

Finally met up with chris and steve at one utama after not seeing them since before my 2nd semester exams in Australia. That was an incredible amount of time. I felt so bad yet appreciative when steve treated me to lunch, yes me a visitor from singapore, with plenty of my own of ringgits to spend. The only pity was steve having to leave so quickly to run some errands. So chris brought me to his house, gave me a tour of his place and caught up while playing some pool as well, deciding to keep the honours even at 2 won games each.

Dinner was at some Hawaiian place in ss2 area again and this time no one could deprive me of the malaysian hokkien mee ive been craving for a while. And you know what the best part is? We ordered several dishes and when I converted the total amount I spent back to sing and aussie dollars, I had to laugh to myself...

Remember that first training

2007-01-16T01:16:00.000+11:00

Remember that first training..

I was the only representative of the canoeing batch of 2005. Understandably so because the rest were either in camp or uni. A massive 100 plus juniors turned up once more for what most people would probably have thought was a gyming club or a leisure rowing club hence I was hoping the start of training would shake them out of their dream world into reality. If they wanted to be part of a club with such a great legacy and tradition and rowers, they would have to prove their mantle.

Of course you cant expect much from J1 kids on the first training but for most of the years, the first training was what separated the men from the boys. Perhaps there is a fine line between maintaining strict training regime and not wanting to scare of people. Obviously when there are so many people on the first day, some have to go and what better way than to raise the standards slightly so that you don't have to kick people out of the team but they leave out of their own will.

I'm impressed though that there are so many senior guys this year, 15 in total. I wonder what happened that made so many of them want to stay. 15 guys handling so many guys is a much easier than 6 of us during our time. Don't want to critisize too much of the seniors handling of training. After all this is the first time they are having to step up as leaders of a club which meant so much to past generations of ac rowers. However if there is anything they can improve, it would be encouraging juniors to echo. Also discipline is so much more lax, not sure whether they are being too lenient. But hopefully they will learn to sort it out like we did.

I cant help but look back at my own memories of first training as a junior. Warm ups were on the hockey pitch. Pek Hong looked so scary, we hung in push up position for 1 whole hour. In that same push up position they asked us to turn to the person beside us, find out their name and cheer them on. I did so reluctanly, "what's your name?" "Yi Hang" was the reply. Not too far away was a fat slob struggling with push ups. "I bet he'll quit by the next training.." was the thought that raced through my head. That person was chong.

Then there was the numerous rounds around the track and the pull ups which i just but only just managed to do since i was an ex-rower in sji. What finally killed me was the circuits at the end. Combinations of short sprints, push ups, sit ups and burpies. I asked myself that day whether I wanted to do that for the rest of my 2 years in jc. My answer was "no" but yet I somehow stayed on...

Perspective

2007-01-13T13:36:00.000+11:00

Perspective

Yesterday was the perfect tonic for me to head back to acjc. I could do gym with Chong after he came back from Brunei, meet up with Eng, one of my physic tuition mates under charlie chan and go pay a visit to my form teacher Ms Tai. So effectively I could kill 3 birds with 1 stone.

It was the 3rd time I stepped into the college since coming back from Australia, yet somehow it feels different when you go back during a time when the academic year has reopened and there is now life in the school once more. Students in different uniforms, some looking a bit lost, while several others still living under the presumption that jc is simply an extension of their year-end holidays and I couldnt help chuckling to myself realizing that we were all once that way. Even Chong couldnt help walking around the canteen and the void deck for a while, spying of the 'quality' of the new intake.

It turned out that Chong's oversleeping and meeting me one and a half hours later was a blessing in disguise because I had the opportunity to go and look up my teacher, and just as well she had a free period then, so she kindly offered to buy me a drink in the canteen and chat. It's good to see lao shi as her same self. Looking out for the welfare of her pupils and not surprisingly expressing concern over their academic performances especially when they start to show greater involvement in their CCAs, CCAs which are time sapping like canoeing. Only that now I can start seeing things in her perspective and as an outsider's perspective as opposed to a student's viewpoint when we were in jc.

Websters online dictionary defines perspective as: "A way of regarding situations or topics". One of the greatest pitfalls facing students in jc is regarding CCAs as the only thing worth working towards. That sounds crazy for sure, because logically thinking, of course the whole purpose of our 2 years in jc is to gear ourselves in preparation for the big A-levels at the end of the year. Yet sometimes actions speak louder than words and for 2 years it was as if I sold myself to canoeing because I was so keen and motivated to win something at the national school championships, sheltered under the excuse that we are rowing for the college.

It is respectable to win something for the school, it is exciting to try out new experiences in college, it is also memorable to have an enriching 2 years in jc but it is foolish to do so at the expense of your studies. By joining canoeing, I had to make a commitment to myself that if I put in this amount of effort in canoeing, I had to double that effort in my studies. Since time had been taken away from me to train for the k2 medal, other times had to be sacrificed and it had to be my leisure time, I couldn't compromise my studies for it. Never lose sight of the bigger perspective of things.

Having said that, I'm really glad to be part of a bunch of guys who knew where to draw the line. We knew that many of our seniors badly screwed up their prelims. But we were determined to be different, in fact many people were saying our guys batch of canoeist were very smart..haha.. and I had to work hard to make sure I didnt destroy that reputation. In the end 3 people came out with straight As, the rest of us got combinations of As and Bs, not that it matters now though. We still won a silver medal for our 12-man dragon boat team, did better than our previous batch for nationals overall, got silver for my k2 event, gold for national juniors. However I owe a lot to several of them who reminded one another to work hard on the academic front.

This post is dedicated to the guys team who knew what it meant to find the balance between studies and pursuit of the ultimate canoeing prize. Most of all they knew what the big perspective was.

Take Care

2007-01-12T01:54:00.000+11:00

Take Care

Mike: Now you can see what you got yourself out off...
Me: And now you can see what you got yourself into...

I went to Pulau Tekong today. Yea, the one where they conduct their bmt. I was part of a group of familes and enlistees going in. However it was not me who remained on the island. My cousin bid farewell to his parents and brother and me before he would embark on a 3 month stint inside the school. Although I had to wake up at 6.30am for it, it was worth it, not just viewing the conditions in camp but sending off my cousin who i grew up with.

It was interesting to see what most of my friends have gone through or would go through. The army personnel gave us a tour of the bunks, the common room, the canteen and showed us videos of what the boys would be going through. The impression they left us with was that the living conditions were good, food was reasonable. So now, at least I have an idea of what a bit part of ns life is like. And I think being able to serve the nation in such a manner is really respectable.

Take care Mike, may God guide you through this phase of your life.

Air Asia

2007-01-08T15:03:00.000+11:00

Air Asia

Everytime when I think of Air Asia, I will think of what a blessing it is to be able to travel on proper world-class airlines. Coming back from Sabah on friday, I had quickly line up to ensure i was in the front of the queue when they called for boarding, walk briskly so I could one of the first few to enter the plane and get good seats for my mum and I.

Air Asia trully lives up to its motto, "Now everyone can fly" hence you get different types of people on board the flight. The shabbily dressed ones, problem kids with an inability to sit still and stop crying, their helpless parents unable to handle their children and even some gangster lookalikes. If not for my mp3 player I'm not sure how I would have been able to listen to the irritating noises around and remain sane at the same time. The flight delay for 45 mins meant I had to put up with such people around me for a longer time. Yet God used this opportunity to remind me that I had to learn to love this people. It doesnt mean having to like them, it's just realizing that people like that need to know of the existence of a loving father who does so with no conditions or obligations.

Sabah Beckons

2007-01-04T13:19:00.000+11:00

Sabah Beckons

So here I am in Kota Kinabalu sitting in my cousin's room, using his internet access. Fortunately, he is the IT kind of person so there is all the computer gadgets available here. Its been interesting trying to communicate with my maternal grandparents since i tried to speak a bit of Hakka after looking like some poor lost soul for the past few years when they say something to me in a dialect I understood a fair bit but didnt speak. Trully, when you are able to speak to your grandparents in their mother tongue, there is always a sense of closeness established because they feel more comfortable.

Sabah is indeed a nice getaway place from developed world we live in because everyone knows how to take it easy and when to work when they have to. In the plane on the way here from Johor, there was this group of students travelling with us comprising of the really china kind of chinese and Indians and the Malays. I was wondering which school in Malaysia would have students of different races and such diverse background. They were carrying really random stuff like buckets. Only when I read the Malaysian papers that day did I realize that they were people serving their national service, probably being transported to their camps. Well, I could have been one of them.

Alright no more time wasting. Gotta make the most of my time here..

Farewell 2006 Welcome 2007

2007-01-01T13:02:00.000+11:00

Farewell 2006 Welcome 2007

I guess it's that time of the year again where we go crazy when the clock strikes 12 midnight. People celebrate for the fact that they now write the date with an 07 behind instead of an 06 which sounds dumb unless they realize there is an opportunity once again to start afresh and leave behind the past, looking forward with optimism. Definitely we want to expect the best for ourselves in the coming year but we actually have to claim it for ourselves and not lose sight of the things we set out to achieve this year. May God's guidance and wisdom be upon all who seek his face.

The past 2 days leading up to new year have been a blast for me. On saturday I was looking forward to Nigel 21st birthday celebration in the evening. Before that my family had to play host to a couple of families who had been invited over by my parents as part of a end of year celebration. Got the chance to catch up a bit with Rachel and Sarah because they were the only people my age group there.

Anyway back to Nigel's 21st, I really admire him for that because it was trully a god centred one, yet we still had fun. The ambience that the place created was terrific and it gave a chill out sort of feeling. It was interesting to hear different testimonies of him such as how "pai kia" he was before he got saved and even how he became such an impact to so many people in ocf including me. The place almost felt like we were back in Melbourne again as there were a fair number of ocfers as well. In fact the party itself cannot be described properly by words, you had to be there to know that God could use a party such as this to touch everyone present at that place especially when Nigel spoke. After the party ended due to time constraits, Itono, woofy and I caught the man utd match at chijmes since it was so nearby the birthday celebration place besides raffles hotel.

It was a great time of fellowship last night having steamboat and bbq at leon's place. It was the first time I stepped into his place after a few years though I recall I used to visit his place often when in sji. Good thing chee khoon was with me otherwise I would have stepped into the wrong place. Helped to make tons of meatballs which we couldnt even finish and sam and I were successfully able to bbq the first batch of chicken wings. The funny part was leon stuffing 10 marshmallows in his mouth and trying to say something, it looked really sick though..haha.

But if not for Kuo Fong having to leave today, I would have counted down at leon's place. Matt, Nad and Grace picked me up to go to East Coast Park where we joined Kuo Fong and Wei Liang to stroll around East Coast park when we went into 2007. I think it's so ironic that the next time I meet Kuo Fong and other friends, it will be the end of the year once more. So we always spend the beginning and the end of the year together but other than that our lives are virtually separate throughout the year.

This is what the LORD says- he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters,
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.

Surprise!

2006-12-29T13:33:00.000+11:00

Surprise!

2 days ago, I was pleasantly surprised when Kuo Fong called me on my mobile announcing to me that he had arrived, a day earlier than I expected. I was in minds cafe playing some of the dumbest board games during the outing with the Melboune IH people which Dawn did a good job of organising.

Having one of my ex-classmates doing his university studies as well though in Seattle seemed to spice up our conversation a bit more. Really a good change from the army talk I'm mostly forced to put up with because I cannot blame people for spending 90% of their time in camp. Honestly though it gets rather dry sometimes, especially when terms are used which I can't understand or when few people achieve a status in the army worthy of recognition but I don't fully appreciate the magnitute of their achievement because I'm simply observer from the outside, not someone on the inside. Nevertheless its still been an awesome time meeting up with so many people over the weeks.

Actually I was both touched and delighted when Kuo Fong brought back individually gift-wrapped presents for our old gang all the way from US. In fact this period has been one of surprises for me because I got christmas cards and presents from people I didnt expect. Also thank you to amanda and liyen who thought of sending me a card across the border from Malaysia, I'll come up to visit you guys soon in Jan.

A few more days to 2007. I need to start thinking of new resolutions for next year. This year was the only year I successfully kept in touch with my goals time and time again because I stored them on my labtop so I could keep myself in check every once in a while. If you know me, I hate living my life day to day, I would rather it have a direction, so that everyday I can say I am one step closer to where I intend to be, remembering always that there is someone above to cling onto when I run into difficulties.